SexyNEHA
sms JOIN SexyNEHA to 9870807070

Sep
17

Arz Hai..

Yashomati Maiya Se Bole Nandlala

Wah..Wah..

Yashomati Maiya Se Bole Nandlala

Tata Sky Laga Dala To Life Jhinga Lala..


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Oh.ho
Ek Gud Noon bolne keliye itni der


Dr.-Tum roz subha clinic k bahar khade ho k aurato ko kyu ghurte ho?

Dipu-Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai-Aurato ko dekhne ka Time 9am-1pm


Teacher: Tum log roj 8 ghante soya karo.

SANTA : Impossible Sir! College sirf 6 ghante ke liye hota hai


Falo k raja ko AAM kahte h,Dopher k Bad k samay ko SHAM kahte h
Raksa kare use RAM kahte H
or
Jo SMS ka jawab
na Kare
ZANDU BAM Kahte Hai


Ek chor santa ka mobile le ke bhag raha tha.
Santa- bhaag saale bhag

bhag…

Kal kya karega?

Charger to mere pass hai


Sardar Car ka loan na chuka pane se Bank walo ne Car vapas le gaye
Sardar kaha-
Pehle pata hota to Shadi b Loan leke karta


Go down to see My Heart….

Dekha…
Kitna saaf hai Mera DIL,
Bole to ekdam Aapke…

Dimag K jaisa


WatS D HEIGHT OF
1(De-hydratin?
Cow givng milk powder!
2(Hope?
A 99yr.Old woman goin4 999/-rechrg 2get lifetime incoming!


This is MAGIC! Press dwn 9times U see my photo

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

Advanced “APRIL FOOL”…


What Did d Kangaroo Say When She Found Her Baby Missing

?

?

?

Aaila!! Kisne Mera Pocket Mar Liya..


My New No. ONLY
100
Plz Call me 4 confirmation.

Agar mera Noukar uthaye to 2-4 galiya de dena.
Bada kamina hai,apne ap ko police batata Hai


My New No. ONLY
100
Plz Call me 4 confirmation.

Agar mera Noukar uthaye to 2-4 galiya de dena.
Bada kamina hai,apne ap ko police batata Hai


Santa: agar VIVAH ki shooting engineering college me hota to use kya kehte?

?

?

?

?

.

.

.

Banta: VIVA


Solve this puZzle :-

When bullet was fired on Dog,Tiger died

Why?

B”coz the

dog’s
naMe was TIGER


Santa Phone Par Baat Kar Raha Tha.

Banta- Kis Se Baat Kar Rahe Ho?

Santa- Biwi Se.

Banta- Itne Pyar Se?

Santa- Tumhari Hai


Bus Chali..
Jhatka laga..
1 Sardar Ladki k upar ja gira
LADKI boli-Badtamiz, Kya kar rahe ho
SARDAR-B.A. in Amritsar


Height of Laziness:
DAD: Y didnt U go 4 Exam Today?
SON: Question Paper is so tough.
DAD: Hw do U knw?
SON: Last Week itslf Questn Papr leakd!


Yad kr tera Bachpan,Choti tango pe latakta Paijama,Nak ko hathse pochkar gal pe lagana, Kamar pe hath rakhkar awaz lagana”MAA HAGU HO GYI”


Santa= Are dekh Teri Biwi Ko Saap Kat Raha hai.

Banta= Chinta Mat Kar Yaar, Uska Zeher khatam Ho Gaya Hoga, Recharge Karwane Aaya Hoga..!!


Teri dosti me diwane ho gaye,
tujhe apna banate-banate begane ho gaye,
pukar le 1 bar pyar se mere dost,

MURGE ki awaz sune zamane ho gaye


1 Rat 1 Kanjus K Ghar Aag Lgi Thi
Wo Apne Ghar Ko Bacha Nahi Saka.

Puchho Q?

Q Ki

Wo Sari Raat FIRE BRIGADE Wale Ko Miss Call Deta Raha.


Bas Bohat Hua

Bura Lage To Sorry

Me Ne Neeche Saaf

Saaf Likh Dia Hai …

“SAAF SAAF”


Why do women wear watches on their right hand&
men on their left hand
.

.

.

.

.

.
.

.

.

.

2see the time yaar


99 SAAL ka BUDHA SWARG ki
APSARA dekh ke bola

RAMDEV BABA ke YOGA k chakkar
me na padta to yahan bahut pehle aa jata


Mera No. Change ho gya hai
.
.
.
.
Underwear ka.Agar tuze meri purani undrwear chaiye to le jana
.
Hat pagle ab thanx bolke fir rulayga kya


A typical studnt (like us(flips a coin &thinks.
Heads- wil go 2 sleep
Tails-wil watch a movie
stands-wil listn music
Stays in air-wil study


Jaha Ki Gurbat Mai Sukun Nahi Ayga
Gam-e-Tohin Se Kubul Nahi Ayega
Maklul Ki Fitrat He Aye Kafir
Sar Fat Jaega Par Ye SMS Samaj Nhi Ayega


ZINDGI HAI 2 SAPNE HAI, SAPNE HAI 2 MANJILE HAI, MANJILE HAI TO RASTE HAI, RASTE HAI TO MUSKILE HAI, MUSKILE HAI T

..ARE YAAR MAIN HOON NA


PROFFESOR: Wher is Ur Assignmnt?
STUDENT: Sir,I lost it while fighting with students who said dat u were not the best prof in d Collage.


Banta:Aaj Party Kis Khusi Me
Santa:Meri Scooter Kho Gayi
Bnta:Toh! Party Kyo
Snta:Shukr Mano Mai Us Par Nahi Baitha Tha Warna Mai B Gum Ho Jata


Question : Why do girls close
their eyes while kissing a guy?
Guess
Guess
.
.
.

Ans-Yeh ladkiyan ladkon
ko kabhi khush nahi dekh sakti


Aadmi: Are Bhai, Tumhare Samose mein se Ladki ka baal nikla he!

Samose wala: Abe! To kiya 5Rs k samose me puri Ladki niklegi?


AEROPLANE
Wright Brothers

CYCLE
Macmillan

TELEPHONE
Graham Bell

TELESCOPE
Galileo

EXAMS
?

?

?

Saale Ko Dhundo Re, Pakad K Marenge!!


Mai Aaj kasam khaata hu..

Ki Aajse har Ladki ko Maa Samjhunga
.

.

.

.

.

Apne Hone Wale Bachhon Ki..


Ladki aadhi Raat ko BOY-Frnd ko CALL kar k bolti hai- Ghar par aa jao koi nai hai

Ladka Ghar pahucha to wakehi ghar par tala laga tha


Malika Sherawat acting as Draupdi; Then Wt wil Duryodan say?
>Dusyasn pehna do dsi ko sari. Zara hum b 2 deke Vastro me kaisi lagti hai ye Nari

-: Raavan has 10Heads, 20Eyes bt He was Luking @Only 1Girl- SITA
U hv only 1Head &2Eyes; Then Who is Real Raavan-

Abe tu..

Mirchi lgi Raavan


2 Minute k liye Maun rakho,

Un Machharo k Aatma ki Shanti k liye

Jo Kal Raat Apko katne k baad Diabetes se mar gaye

Coz U r So SWEET


Phul khil kr Udaas hai..

Samundar ko Pani ki Talash hai,

1bar to Muskura de Dost,

RAMGOPAL VERMA ko Naye BHOOT ki Talash hai


Heer ro ro kar ranjhe se keh rahi thi..

Heer ro ro kar ranjhe se keh rahi thi..

Rumaal de sale meri Naak beh rahi hai..


“Laziness is r biggest enemy” – Jawaharlal Nehru

“We should learn 2 luv r enemy” – Gandiji

Nw tel. . Who shuld i listen to?


Teacher: which
book is d most
helpful book in ur life?
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
Student:My DAD’S Cheque book
Sand…


During Kiss-0.45gm fat 0.19gm chemicals 250variety of bacteria get out,
dis is true,So pick up Ur Lover n Xchange Kisses 2stay healthy..!!


TEACHER: Wich Animal flies in air,but givs birth 2 young ones on land?

Sardar(gets excitd& Said-

AIRHOSTESS!!


One Kanjus on his death time
My wife Where r u
Wife=YeS I’m here
Kanjus=My sons r u all here
Yes!Papa
To Fir Dukaan par kaun hai..


Is Duniya me sirf ‘PostMan’ hai
Post-Woman’ nahi hai
.
Aakhir Aisa Kyun?
.
Why?
.
Kyonki Wo Delivery Dene mein 8-9 Mahine Lagaa Deti hai.



Full form of bank’s

HSBC:Hum Sabse Bade Chor

HDFC:Har Dum Fakir Chand

IDBI:Itna Dhan Bina Income

SBI:Sab Bhikari Idhar:):):)


Ladkiyan 2Type Ki Hoti H:
1
Boring-Jo Dhup Wale Din Chatri Leke Jati Hai
2
Intresting-Jo Barish K Din Jan Buj K Chatri Ghar Bhul Jati Hai


A Senior Studnt during Ragging says:=”On Ur Marriage i wil Kiss Ur Wife”
JUNIOR:=”OK Fine Sir, Bt i m going 2 Marry Ur Sister”


*WIFE= Jab me Gana Gati hu to Aap Bahar Kyu Chale jate Ho
*HUSBAND= Taki Bahar Wale Ye Na samjhe ki Me Tumhara Gala dabaraha hu


HRITIK :Aaj mere pas 4 caRs hai,3 bikes hai,mobile hai,banglow hai,farm house hai tumare pas kya hai?

ABHISHEKH : Mere baap k sar pe Baal hai


Daru se dosti,
Liver ko katra

Randi se dsti,
AIDS se katra

Watan se dsti,
JAAN ko katra

Hum se dsti,
Teri grlfren ko katra


TEACHER: Write Ur Lover’s Name in this Paper

>{After 5seconds..}
BOYS: Finished Madam..

>{After10 Minuts}
GIRLS:=ADDITIONAL PAPER Mam.


Wife- Doctor Ne Mujhe Ek Mahine Ka Aaram Aur Kisi Hill Station Par Jane Ko Kaha Hai..
Hum Kaha Jayenge?
Husband- Kisi Dusrey Doctor Ke Pass..!!


Actual letter written 4 application of
leave:
“My wife is suffering from sickness &as I am her only husband at home
I may be granted leave


After Grand Success Of
MS Word
MS Excel
MS PowerPoint
If..
Microsoft Launches New Software Relatd 2Cricket
Wat Wil B Its Name?

?

MS Dhoni


Yesterday whole night i was thinking about only U…
.

.

.

.
2day i was thinking of V

2nite i wil definitely think about..W,X,Y&Z..


Beauty & Colours May Attract Eyes.!

But,

Only a Smile Can Catch d Attention Of ‘HEART’..
.
.
.
.
.

.

.

.

So, Keeeeep
Brushing..


Lohe Ko Loha Kat Ta Hai..
Heere Ko Heera Kat Ta Hai..
Zeher Ko Zeher Kat Ta Hai..

.

.

.

.

.

Aise Hi Tumhe Ek Din Kutta Katega..


Sant chokheram ki jayanti kl DILLI me dhom dham se mani jyengi prasad kambal bate jayege!yeh sms special bhikariyo ko hi bheje ja rahe he


Y does a Buffalo
Alwys Enjoy Playing
in d Dirty Water?

Why?

Why?

Why

Anyway.. It is your PERSONAL MATTER I WON’T INTERFERE !!


A sardarji went 2 a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP &Slapped d operator twice.
Guess why?
bcz ther it was written “Number dial karne se pehle 2 lagaye”


Heer ro ro kar ranjhe se keh rahi thi..

Heer ro ro kar ranjhe se keh rahi thi..

Rumaal de sale meri Naak beh rahi hai..


SiR-Why is ElectRic WiRe placed so high?

BOY-
“If it was not placed so high,
people would use dat wiRe 2 dRy theiR clothes”!


Aye CIRCUIT,
BAPU bola, jo b MSG nhi krta use or MSG kr
asa krnese 1din use
SHARM aayegi,SORRY bolega or MSG karega
boleto GANDHigiri


Ladkiyan 2Type Ki Hoti H:
1
Boring-Jo Dhup Wale Din Chatri Leke Jati Hai
2
Intresting-Jo Barish K Din Jan Buj K Chatri Ghar Bhul Jati Hai


3 Best Jokes of d
Collage Life:

1.”Dnt Distrb, i have 2 Study

2.”No Class, Lets go 2 d library

And d Biggest One

3.”Sir, I hav a Doubt!


*NEWS ALERT*
Koi b
Kuch b
Khane ko de

Mat Khana PLZ

Idhar-Udhar Nigah rakna

Kyuki

Goverment ne Kutta mar muhim Start ki hai


Scientists ne sabit kr dia hai k BANDER &GADHE, SMS padhte samay anguthe ka istemal krte he. NA! MUNNe NA! ab ungli mat lagao, der ho chuki hai


SON-Mujhe Circus dekna hai
DAD-I m Busy
SON-Waha 1 Ladki chote kapde me chete pe Sawri krti hai
DAD-Chalo calte he
kafi dino se cheta nahi deki


Reaction of girls when they loose their purse
Poor girls-my money
Rich grls-my credit card

College girls- O SHIT!
Usme “RAJ” ka photo tha


UTGYE KYA?

UTHO NA!

JALDI KARO

HATH ME LO

SHARMAO MAT

1BAR KARO

ROJ TO KARTE HO

JALDI KARO KOI
DEKH LEGA

SMS YAAR..Kar Na


Bhakt:Bhagwan mujhe Dard de,Dukh de, Tension de,mujhe Barbad karde,mere pichhe har mushkil laga de

Bhagwan: Abe 1line me bolna “GIRLFRIEND”hon!


Wt is difference betwn PROBLEM,TALENT &KISMAT?

2Boys Love 1Girl
=PROBLEM!

1Boy loves 2girls =TALENT!

2girls loves 1boy
= KISMAT


Sardar akela helicoptr sikh raha tha,achank helicoptr niche aa gira
Pilot:kya hua
Sardar:upar thand lag raha tha,isliye pankha band kar dia


Lohe Ko Loha Kat Ta Hai..
Heere Ko Heera Kat Ta Hai..
Zeher Ko Zeher Kat Ta Hai..

.

.

.

.

.

Aise Hi Tumhe Ek Din Kutta Katega..


A New Born Baby askd NURSE:- Do U hav MOBILE?
NURSE:Bt Why?
BABY: I shal giv Mis Call 2God dat i reachd Earth Safely..


In TRAIN, HUSBAND 2WIFE: Tujh se Shadi kr k pachta rha hu

DiL krta hai Tujhe Kutte k Age dal du

Samne Wala Passengr Starts Barking”Wao Wao”


‘IN LOVE’ Girls are like kidney and Boys are like liver; if liver fails kidney fails,
If kidney fails liver manages with other kidney

Hum rat me apki awaz sunte hai,sitare b apka jikr karte hai ,mat aao hamare khabome me hum “BANDER” se bahut darte hai


Train Chali, Santa aaya aur Dibbe me Chad gaya..
TTE bola:- Dikhai nai deta, Ladies Compartmnt hai.
SANTA:- Sorry Yar Muje laga Aap Mard ho

Train Chali, Santa aaya aur Dibbe me Chad gaya
TTE bola- Dikhai nahi deta Ladies Compartmnt hai
SANTA- Sorry Yaar, Mujhe laga Aap Mard ho


Collage JOKE of d Week:-
LECTURER:- Ur Head is Full of Cow Dung.
STUDENT:-Oh that’s Y U Come & Eats My Head Everyday..huh?


Sardar ToLd his FREND:-“Yaar 1LADKi Mujko HASS K Dekh rahi hai”
FRND 2SARDAR:-
Pehle Confirm kar
HASS k Dekh rahi hai Ya Dekh k HASS Rahi he


*NEWS ALERT*
Koi b
Kuch b
Khane ko de

Mat Khana PLZ

Idhar-Udhar Nigah rakna

Kyuki

Goverment ne Kutta mar muhim Start ki hai


Nud gight!
Lest of buck,
bay mod yless gou,
dweet sream,
cake tare

Yory saar neend me hu na sisiliye ipelling histake mo ha


Taras khao Laalten me Tel Khatm hone ko aya,
Jal jao Zindagi me Tubelight bankar,
Meri Zindagi me Andhera hone ko aya


Teachr:
“Dfine d word ‘LECTURER”?

Studnt: “LECTURER is a Persn who has a bad habit of speaking Wn Sum1 is SLEEPING


Vodka+Water=Injurs kidney
Rum+Water=Injurs Liver
Whisky+Water=Injurs Heart
Gin+Water=Injurs Brain

Lagta he Saala Paani me hi kuch gadbad he


DOCTOR-Kya Hua?
GIRL-Susu Ka Rasta Band Ho Gaya
D-Kaise
G-Mene Galti Se Vaseline Samaj K Crack Cream Laga li


Sardar saw Poster at a Plice Station
“2 Gujrati Men Wanted 4 Rape”
SARDAR:- Sala..These Gujratis always get d bst Job.


LaLu ki PaThsaLa
Teacher:convert in english
Mein Aam Aadmi Nahi Houn
sir:ekra matlab
I am not a mangoman


DOCTOR-Kya Hua
Girl- Susu Ka Rasta Band Ho Gya
D-Kaise
G-Mene Galti Se Vaseline Samaj K Crack Cream Lagali


BHIKHARI- Tumare padosi ne Mujhe Full Pet Khana khilaya. Aap b Kuch Khila do?
LALA- Le HAJMOLA kha, sab Hajam ho jayga


DENTIST ki Beti:- Aaj fir Tumne Apni Shadi ki Baat Dad se Nahi ki?
BOY:- Bas Aaj fir Mera Hausla nahi hua aur fir Ek Daant nikalwa liya..


Maths Teacher 2a Dull Boy: If U hv 12 Chocolats &U giv 5 2 Hina, 3 to Tina, 4 to Meena,Thn Wt wil U get?
Stud: 3 New Haseena


In a Pot,thr r 10fishes,1died & d water level increases

Hw?

Think Little

D Other 9 Fishes r crying
Tht’s Frndshp


A FUNNY QUOTE:

“Come Like A Horse,

Sit Like A Thief, And,

Go Like A King..!!!


Amitabh Public Toilet Me Se Pura Bhig K Ata H

Jaya:Ap To Susu Krne Gye The

A:Jese Hi Me Ander Gya,Koi Bola ‘BIG B’ Aur Sab Meri Taraf Ghum Gye


Kal Kare So Aaj Kar..
Aaj Kare So Ab..

Kal Kare So Aaj Kar..
Aaj Kare So Ab..

!

!

Abey Karta Hi Rahega Toh Dhoyega Kab..


A Cigar reduces a mans lif by 8 min.
Smiling increases a mans lif by 10 min.
MORAL: A smiling smoker never dies


SMILE
is
a
Gift
Given
By
God
2us
So
Keep on
Smiling
Smiling
Smiling
Smiling
Unless
Untill
U
R
Admitted2
Mental hospital…


Judge-Mujrim K Dono Kan Kaat Do..

Mujrim-Nahi Mai Andha Ho Jaunga.!

Jg-Kan Katne Se Andhe Kese Hoge.?

Mujrim-Chasma Nahi Pahen Sakunga Na..!!


DEVDAS:- Tere pyaar me meri chita jal jayegi.

Paro:
Teri kurbani bekar nahi jaayegi,
Rakh yaha bhej de bartan ghisne kaam aayegi…!


Apne Mobile ko Kiss karo, ADRAK ka taste ayega! Kar k dekho!
Nahi aya,
Fir kro,
Iss bar zarur ayega!

Chhod Yar

Bander kya jaane Adrak ka Swad.


KISS is a key of love
LOVE is a lock of marriage. MARRIAGE is a box of children
CHILDREN are Future of India
So, start kissing & Develop India.



*BEAUTY TIP*
Want to protect Ur Face From Dust, Mud & Other Things?

Then apply

“ASIAN PAINTS”

Exterior Emulsion

7 years guarantee!

The first time in India, We are introducing a ” 3D ” message in your mobile………..

D D D


HEIGHT OF CONFIDENCE :

students

Filling Revaluation forms

before results…


TEACHER: Water ka formula batao?
SARDAR: H2MgClNaClHN3HCletc
TEACHER:Ye kya hai?
Srdr: Sir ye Ganga ka poluted pani hai


SUNDAY MEANS

S=Sote Raho

u=Utho Der se

N=Nahao Mat

D=Dekte Raho T.V

A=Aram karo Din bhar

Y=Yaad karo sirf Hame


One day a girl will come in ur life..

come close to u..

hug u..

kiss u..

&

.

will say..

.

.

I LOVE U DADDY!!!


A Cigar reduces a mans lif by 8 min.
Smiling increases a mans lif by 10 min.
MORAL: A smiling smoker never dies


DiL ka Dard Batana Mat

Aankho Me Aansu Lana Mat

Is Baar Pitayi Bahut Hogi

IsLiye Masjib Se ChappaL churana Mat

Chappal Chor

Ha!Tu


Jab koi sms nahi karta,

Tab Itna gussa aata hai..

Aur,Dil to chahta hai..

Ki..

Jute utar ke…

Chappal pehen lu


Hasi k liye gam kurban
Khushi k liye aansu kurban
Dost k liye Jaan bhi kurban
agar dost ki gf mil jaye to saala dost bhi kurban..!!


If U r in
“LOVE”
Then Press-Down

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Thahar jao abhi Tumhari mummy ko batate He
Badi pyaar ki aag lagi He…


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*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Chinta na karo aapke mobile ka button nahi kharab hai maine kai sitare aake liye bheje hai


Sardr had Twins. He namd Tara &Sitara.
Again Twins,he namd Peter &Repetr.
Agn twns,he namd Max&Climx.
Agn twns,Fnly He namd Tired & Retired…


Santa ko 1blank msg aaya!

Fir Santa ne usko call kiya or kaha-
“OYE HELLO ! Tumhe maalum hai kya ! Tumhare mobile
ki INK KHATM HO GAYI HA


Raat ko hamesha Kapde Utaar k Sona chahiye
.

,

,

,

,

,

.

.
Mera Matlab Rassi se….Kyun k Baarish ka kuch Pata nahi


Devdas:
Tere pyaar me meri chita jal jayegi.

Paro:
Teri kurbani bekar nahi jaayegi,
“Raakh” yaha bhej de Bartan ghisne k kaam aayegi…!


I am Fool

I am Fool

I am Fool

I am Fool

I am Fool

I am Fool

Ok ok cool.
I agree u r fool.
Control urself.!
Happy Fools Day


A man traveling @130 Km/hr on d highway was stopped by police
Man:Sorry,officer was I driving too fast?
Officer:No,sir.U were flying too slow


Dosti karo college wali se,

Ishq karo office wali se,

Flirt karo pdos wali se,

Pyar karo dilwali se,

aur maar khao ghar wali se


Jin: Kya hukum hai mere Aaqa?

Aaqa: Mere a/c me 50 Cr cash & katrina se shadi 10 sec mein kara do.

Jin: Aaqa….! Hukum karo.
Mazak nahi…!


KISS is a key of love
LOVE is a lock of marriage. MARRIAGE is a box of children
CHILDREN are Future of India
So, start kissing & Develop India.


Zamindaar:Agar Mai Subah Apni Car Me Niklu Toh Shaam Taq Me Apni Aadhi Zamin Bhi Nahi Dekh Sakta
Santa:Hamare Paas Bi Pahle Aisi Hi Car Thi


A man traveling @130 Km/hr on d highway was stopped by police
Man:Sorry,officer was I driving too fast?
Officer:No,sir.U were flying too slow


1 pagal tha..

bilkul
pagal tha..

Zabardast
pagal tha..

Bahot
Khatarnak
pagal tha..

Aap mat
ghabrao

Apke Samne
To Wo
Kuch B Nai
Tha


A FACT:
U Alwys Adress Ur Close Frns By “DUDE” But U arent Aware Wt Exactly D Word Stands 4!
Well

A Camel’s Penis Is Called DUDE!


U r a Very Special Frnd of ME
So,i Gifts U N-73

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Gin le N pure 73 he


Teacher: From wher 2 wher did the mughals rule?

Student: Sir i am nt sure but i think frm 15 to 26 page


Pappu Ki Ladai Apne Baap Se Ho Gayi

To Usne Apne Baap Ki Photo Kabristan Me 1 Ped Pe Latka Di
Aur Niche Likha

“COMING SOON”


TEACHER: Tel Ur Name in English?
SARDAR: Beautiful Red Underwear
TEACHER: Wt a Nausence?
SARDAR: Madam My Name is Sundar Lal Chaddi

-: HaR Kisi Ko Gham Nai Milta
AuR HaR 1 Ko SANAM Nai Milta

.

.

.

.

Sale Tension Aata Hai Jb Desi Dukan Me RUM Nai Milti


Hello Dear

Aaj 1 April He
Maine Socha Ap SabKo Fool Banau

Par

Mujhe Laga

Ki

zarurat hi Nhi He

-: :::HAPPY B’DAY:::

So,

YoU aRe ThE bEsT&cUtE “fOoL”

“coNGratuLatiOnS..Keep IT up”


My dear FOOL,
U r d most
beauti FOOL
wonder FOOL &
color FOOL among all FOOOOLS.
April FOOL, my dear FOOOL!


BeWkOOf 2 Type K Hote HE?

1st:
“Jo Aise Msg Padhte HE”.

2nd:
“jo aise msg ko pura padhte hE”.!


Admi-Kya Hua,Ye Mitti Kyun Khod Raha Hai?

Sardar-Dadaji Ne Bola Mene Unka Nam Mitti Me Mila Diya,
Wohi Dhund Raha Hun


Paper Se Pehle Ki
“DUA”

.

.

.

.

.

BHAGWAN !!
Is Baar Pass
Kara De
Next Time
Zaruur Padhuga


Patient- Doctor Sahab, Mujhe Kab Tak Ye Kadwi Dawa Khani Padegi.?

Doctor- Jab Tak Tum Mera Bill Na De Do..


When ther’s confusion btwn ur heart & mind..

No tension,

Eat BINGO…
No confusion Great combination!!..ADARSH


1 Rahen Chullu

1 Rahen Bhullu,

1 Rahen ULLU,

Chullu 11vi Me Padhat Rahen,

Bhullu 12vi Me Padhat Rahen,

Aur ULLU

“SMS” Padhat Rahen


Star + Moon = Romantic Night

Birds + Sky = Lovely Day

Dreams + Love = Beautiful World

But U + Ur Sweet Smile =
HAIWAN JAAG UTHA
ha..ha..


Q. Amitabh,Pran dono bus estop pe khade the…bus aai aur Pran chad
jata hai per Amitabh nahin jata Qyo???
A:- pran jaye per bacchan na jaye!


1day I read smoking Is Bad
I Stop Smokng
1day I read Drinking Is Bad
I Stop Drinkng
1day I read Kissing Is Bad
I StOPPd READIING


Boss-I m, giving u Job as a driver
Starting Salary is Rs2000..Ok?

Pappu-Sir,Start Krne k liye 2000?
Aur Driving krne k Liye Kitna Salary


If you r in
“LOVE”
Press-Down

Thahar jao abhi Tumhari mummy ko batate He
Badi pyaar ki aag lagi He…


SANTA (Proudly(: My Wife is an Angel
BANTA: U r lucky, My Wife is still Alive.


Friends Jaldi Check Karo..

Kya Tumhara T.V. Chal RAHA Hai?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

Pakad Lo,

Nahi To Bhag Jayega..


If RELIANCE GROUP launches a DIAPER Wht ll b d Slogan?

“AB KAR LO SUSU CHADDI MEIN.”

Dhirubhai ka sapna, Har ghar mein ho diaper apna


LAB WORK:
EXP
AIM=To Disturb U.

APARATUS=Mobile

PROCEDURE=
1(Missed call
2(Blank msg
3(Repeat 1&2

RESULT =U r Disturbed

CONCLUSION=I m Happy


oNe YouNg MaN Died
iN Hell He Asked Yama:
“Why Did U Kill Me.?


A boss askd srdr2 get2 corner tickets4 a movie to enjoy wit his grl frnd

Sardar Brought 2 corner tickets

A1…………..A24


Helmet k upar se sar khujate sardar se koi bola SARDARJI
HELMET
to utar lete SARDR:Sale jab teri Legs me khujli hoti he to tu kya pant utarta he


A Great Saying-
“Everything cums Ur way
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wen U r on d Wrong side of d highway…!!”
*******
U r d Sweetst Person in dis world..

Yaqhn nahi aata..

Suraj ki Kasam..!!

Aaila!!

Andhera kaise ho gya?


*MACHCHAR SONG*
Bhige Hot Tere Pyasa Dank Mera, Lage Amritsa Mujhe KHUN Tera, Kabhi Mere Sath Ek RAAT Gujar,
Tujhe Subha Tak SUJA Du Yaar!


It was Santa’s wedding anniversary.
Preeto:Shall v hv Tandoori chicken to celebrate?
Santa: y punish poor chiken for da mistake we
made?


Y do couples hold hands during der wedding day?.?.? It is just a formality, like 2 boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins


Mai tumhe dekhna chahata hu,
Tumse milna chahata hu..

Per ye log bahut jalim hai,
Kahte haiKahte hai
ZOO band ho gaya hai kal aana.


Santa Was Inserting Dog’s Tail Into pipe.
Banta: Oye, Kutte Ki Dum Kabhi Seedi Nahi hoti.
Santa:Mai To Pipe Bend Kar Raha Hu.


AGE 0F DRINKS:
1 To 3 : Milk
3 To 8 : Cerelac
9 To 13: Complan
14To 25 : Beer
26 To 40 : Whisky
41 To 60 : Tonic
AFTER 60 AnyTime
GANGAJAL!


Garmiya aa gayi he dost

sir pe gila aur thanda
kapda rakhna

barf lagate rhna

suraj se bach k rhana

kyuki

BHUSA JALDI AAG PAKADTA HAI


Sir: Apka Beta Cigarette Pita Hai.
Aap Kabhi Use Puchhte Nahi ?

Santa: Haan,

Puchhta Hu, Par Mujhe Kabhi Deta Hi Nahi..


A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
isme 1 missing hai?

2 baar padthe ho sharam nhi ati?
ABC me “1” kahan ata hai?



Today’ PJ:

DoNt DriNk Water
While StudyiNg
Because.,

“CoNceNtratioN
Gets Diluted.,”


Devdas ne paro k ghr k samne susu kr di
PARO:-Dev Ye Tumne Kya kiya ?
DEV:-gm itna tha ki aasu apna rasta bhul gaye


Ganjo ki Race me 1 Ganje ne mari bazi
Mgr Inaam lene ko wo nhi Razi
Ganje ne gu$ me kaha ye b koi Khel he?
Ji$me Gnjo ka inam
Kanga or Tel hai


WIFE: Look a thief has entered our kitchen &he is eating d cake prepared by me
HUSBAND: Whom should i Call nw, Police or Ambulance?


Maths Teacher:
If A=B, B=C,
SO A=C.
Prove this Theorem wit Example:
Sam:-Sir, I Love U.
U Love Ur Daughtr
So I Love Ur Daughter.
Hence Proved.


PATIENT: Dr.Saab, POTTY Nai Ho Rhi.
Jo Khata hu Wo Nikalta he.
Roti Khau,Roti Nikalti
Rice Khau,Rice Niklta

Kya Khau to Potty Nikle

Dr-Gu Kha


True Luv is lyk a Pillow.
U can Hug Wen U r in Trouble.
U can Cry Wen U r in Pain.

.

Need True Luv?

.

.

“SPEND RS.50 BUY A PILOW”


Fix Ur Target & Find d Best Route, Go Fast,
Dont allow Othrs, Chase Othrs.
If U do these things, U wil bcum d best

AUTO DRIVER..
Peep..Peep!!???4


Once Prince CHARLES & Sardar having dinner.
Prince said:-Pass d Wine U Divine.
Sardar Thinks how Poetic,
Sardar: “Pass d Custard U BASTARD!!


Waah re GANDHI,

Kya chali teri Aandhi,

Aaya tha langot me

AUR ghus gaya,

10,
20,
50,
100,
500,
1000
k Note me!


Plz Dont Neglect This
Msg

A Poor Boy
Suffring 4m Mental
Disorder Needs Shock Treatment
Plz Send Ur Photo
So dt He Gets d
PROPER SHOCK


Girl-Me Tere Liye Sb Kuch Chod Dugi

Boy-Maa Baap
G-Yes

B-Bhai Behan
G-Yes

B-Frnds
G-Yes

B-Star Plus
G-Muh Sambhal K Baat Kr


Quote of the century:
The financial situation at the moment is so bad that, women are now marrying for Love


Book khulte hai Examka Sama hota hai
Aise Mausamme to Dimag khrab hota hai
Dimagki bate Paper pr nhi ati,
ye Fsana Marksheet pr Baya hota he


Up Coming Moives
1> Exam ka Khauf
2> Tadapte Student
3> Kaatil syllabus
4> Sadma Result ka
5> Pass Ho Na ho
6> kaash Hum Padhe Hote.


KHUN se likh dia har diwar pe naam tera,
Aur fir Tod di har Diwar jis pe likha tha naam tera

kyu ki….

”SPELLING MISTAKE THI..


INDIA Ko
Aazad Hue 61 Sal Hue
Phir B
No PROGRESS!

Why?

Kyunki Aaj B
INDIA Ki
Bholi Janta
KAAM-DHANDHA Chod Kar
Hamara SMS Padhti hai..

Waise hi Muje 2-4 sms bhejne se tum bhikari nahi ban jaate


*
A boy hd 6 fingrs & his frnds calld him Arya
Y?

Guess

Think

Bcoz his name was Arya

MORAL:-Dnt think like a Scientist


TECHNO IMPACT:
In Year 2020,
Father Angrily To His LKG Kid,
“I Told You A Hundred Times,

U Were Born,

Not

DOWNLOADED!


1Doctr Mariz k piche bhag rha tha Logo ne pucha-Kya hua?
DOCTR-Char bar Sala Brain Opration krwane ata he Aur hmsha Bal ktwa k bhag jata he


Life Was Lonely
No One Was There
I Had No Good Friend,
& When U Came Into My Life,
I Realised That. .

“Akele He Theek The Yaar”..


Ek KUTTI k 4 bacche the
unhone apni ma se pucha:mammi mammi PAPA kaha hai?
KUTTI boli-
Saant raho,
PAPA sMs
padhne me busy hai disturb mat karo.


Jab Apka Janm Hua,Tb DJ Laga &Sara Akash Jhuma
Devtao Ne Dance Kia
GHI K Diye Jalaye
Brhma G
Bole:Chalo Chutkara Mila
Ab Dhrtiwale Bhugtege


Santa: yaar tumne School ana kyu chhod diya?
Banta: yaar actually mere Dad keh rahe the ek hi
jagah bar-bar jane se Izzat kam ho jati hai.


Isko kehte hai

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Mere SMS ko padne ka JUNOON..


17cntury mom 2 hr Son-Religon k ladki se shadi krna
18cntry-apne caste k
19cntry-apne level k
20cntry-apne desh k
21cntry-koi b pr ladki se krna


Kitnagussaaatahaijabkoibinaspacekesmsbhejtahaiaurkitnamazaaatahaijabkoiaankhenfadkarussmskopadnekikoshishkartahaifirmuskaratahtahai


A B’utiful Grl Goes 2 Profesor’s Cabin& Say:
I’ll do anythin 2 Pass In d Exam.
Profesor Says-
Now Open Ur

.

.

.

.

.

.

Book &Study!


Hai!
I am Collecting
Gandhijis Photos

I need Ur Contribution
to my Collection.
Toh ghar me jitne bhi 10/50/100/500 / 1000 ke notes ho bhej do


Q:-Why doesnt the Indian law permit a man to marry a second woman?
Ans: As per law u cant b punished twice for same offence!!

Hanso

Khelo

NAACHO

Gao

Uchloo

Kudo

Dunya ki parwa mat kero

Q
K

Duniya Janti Hay K
PAGAL
aisi harkatein karte hain..!


3 WAYS TO BRAKE A MIRROR

1( Drop Down The Mirror

2( Throw A Stone On The Mirror

3(U Go in Front Of The Mirror & Just Smile.


Bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow

Vry gud ur training has been completed!
Now go & stand in front of the gate!!!

-: Policeman stopped a Car, which didn’t stop at signal.
Didn’t u see d signal? ‘Yes i did’,
Replied d driver.
But I didn’t see U


Sorry 4 Late sms. Actually Police arrestd me 4 kiling a girl.

I dint kil her

I jst askd her’wil u marry me?’

Khushi k mare mar gyi


ATTITUDE at its PEAK:
.
.
.
.
.
.
I have 0nly been Wr0ng 0nce…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
&
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
& Thats when
I th0ught I was wr0ng…!!!


10
Terrorists
came
by
BOAT

And now

539
terrorists
will
soon
come
by.

VOTE

JAAGO INDIA JAAGO
Dnt 4gt 2Vote 4 d Right 1.


700 in TRAIN

.

50 in BUS

.

10 in SUMO

.

6 in CAR

.

4 in AUTO

.

2 in BIKE

.

but

.

Only
1

MASTER

.

dats

.

‘TUBELIGHT’


SANTA WENT 2 LONDON HOTEL 2 EAT CHICKEN

BUT HE DUNNO D WORD CHICKEN

Waiter ASK:wat do U Want?
Srdr:I want
EGG’S MOTHER’S FRY


Sardar-Jra Dekh To,Bahr Suraj nikala Ya Nhi?
Naukar-Bahr To Andhera He.
s:to Torch Jala Kr Dekh lo


TEACHER:- Batao, Jo sun na sake use kya kahenge?

SARDAR: Use kutta, Kamina kuch b keh do, Kaunsa Wo Sun lega…


TEACHER: Why U had Put Cotton Wool in Ur Ears?
SARDAR: Sir, U alwys says things go in 1 ear & out 4m d Othr. So I m tryng 2 keep them all In. -: Jab Koi Baat Bigad Jaye

Jab Koi Mushkil Pad Jaye

To

To

To…???

To Yaad Rakho

“Jaisi Karni Waisi bharni”

“PAAPI”


TEACHER: Harbhajan is Male or Female?
STUDENT: Female
TEACHR:How?
STUDNT:Yestrday Commentator told “Beautiful Delivery by HARBHAJAN..


Zindgi Sales,
Rishte Target,
Wife Daily Reportng,
Aulad Incntive, Jawani Comitmnt, Budhapa Achivmnt,
Maut promotn,
Yai He Aaj ki Markt Position


Teacher sardar se: ‘A’ ke baad kya aata hai?

Sardar sochta reh gaya
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Aur kaha
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
“KYA BOLTI TU”


Sam was driving car fast.Police caught him
S:Sir I am learning driving
P:Without Instructor?
S:Ya,Its Correspondence Course


Have u seen An ANGRY MONKEY coverd in Plastic Cover?

No

Think

Think again

Never Mind

Now
See Ur
VOTING ID CARD


Abe O Burai k Rasgulle,
Paap ki barfi,
Bewfai k Laddu,
Matlabi GulabJamun,
Dhokebaaz Jalebi, Badmash Pede,
Jhoot k Rasmalai
Tu bada Sweet hai re


Pagal1:jante ho me Tajmahal karidne ja raha hu.
Pagal2:tum se kisne keh diya ke me bech raha hu?


Bimar Aadmi:- Sardarji, Aaj Kal na Gas ki Problem bahut sata rahi.

SARDAR Replied: Tu Ek kaam kar, tabtak tu STOVE ka Istemal kar.


PATIENT: Doctor, I have a Pain in my Eye Whenever I drink Tea.
DOCTOR: Take d Spoon out of d Mug b4 U drink.


Intresting Line Written @the back of Biker’s
T-Shirt;

“If U r able to see this, Plz Tel me dat My GIRL-FRIEND has Fallen Off”

Kyu Nahi Samjha?


Lalu-1Vidwan Ne Kaha k Murkh Aadmi Ki Biwi Bahut Sundar Hoti he.
Rabdi-Ab Rehne b Dijiye Ap k Paas To Hmar Tarif k Alawa Kono Kaam Hi Nahi h


Love b4
Marriage-
“Tum nahin to main nahi”
Love after
marriage-
“Aaj tum nahi ya
main nahi..”


Petrol ke Rate badhne par Santa bola:-
“Menu koi
farak nahin penda.
Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha
ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon.”


A Teacher lecturing on population:
“In India after every 10 secs a women gives birth
to a kid.”

A Sardar stands up-We must find n stop her


BANTA: Why had U increasd Car’s Speed?

SANTA: Car’s Break has Failed
We shud reach Home b4 Accident


-FUNNY CONVERSATION-
-
Boss-Go slow

Driver-But Sir, U said U want 2 reach d Hospital fast

Boss-Yes, but not as a Patient!


Joke1:
New addition to Newtons law of Motion
“Loose Motion can nevr b done in slow motion.”


, , , Aacha bhla
(‘.’) dost tha

_/”’\_

Maine

Gardan
_/’ ‘\_ uda di

SMS nhi krta tha!
Khair Aap To Samajhdar


Train Statn par ruki
Ek Aadmi khidki k pas baite Srdr se pucha “Kaun sa Statn hai?
SARDR bahr dekh k bola- Lagta hai “RAILWAY STATN”


“If U Kiss Me
U’ll B In Danger”
“If U Miss Me
U’ll B Safe”

.

.

.

.

.

.

Shocked Na!

Aisa Lorry K
Piche Likha
tha Yaar.!!


Pati- Aaj tumne ye kaisa khana banaya hai,
GOBAR jaisa.

Patni- HEY RAM!!
is aadmi ne kya-kya taste kar rakha hai..!!


How CaN a Father Make his Daughter walk oN The Street LookiNg DowN The Earth?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Just Gift Her A Mobile Wit Free Sms..


Zindgi apni Masti me jiya kro
Ishq buri chiz he mat kiya kro
Apna Pura dhyan Padhai/Job ki aur Mod do Aur Apni GirlFrnd ko mere bhrose Chod do..


Hi !!

!

“THIS IS MY FACE”!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“AB NEECHE KYA MERI CHADDI DHUND RAHE HO”..!!

N


ever make d Same Mistake Twice..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

There r so many New Ones..
Try a Different One Each Day..!!


-Y r U Late?
-Bike Puncture!
-Y dont U come in BUS?
-I’m Not So Rich to buy a BUS, Sir!


“FeaR is the main Reason foR eveRy failuRes”

.

.

.

.

So

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Dont see miRRoR!


Why Boys goes to Temple?
>To get
Pooja,
Arathi,
Archana..
&Why Girls goes to Temples?
>To get
Prasad,
Darshan,
Abishek..


Heart f boys r lik a temple!
Holy,
truthful,
pure
Thats y,when boys say,
‘I LUV U’,
gals remove their SLIPPERS..!


Wat Do U Call WeN PakistaNi Throws A Bomb oN iNdia
-TERRORISM
N
WeN PakistaNi Throws It oN PakistaN,.?
-GANG WAR.,


Kya
kr
rhe
ho?

Busy
ho?

Kitne
busy
ho?

Thoda
ho?
Ya bahut
ho?

Agar
thoda,
to
sms Kyu
nhi
krte ho?
aur
agar
Zyada
ho to

SmS kyu
padh
rhe ho?


A Gal Askd His B0y Frnd 2 Spek 3 Wrds Whch ll Mak Him Fly In Air & His Feet wont Be 0n Earth

He Answrd:-
Go Hang Urself.

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