Yashomati Maiya Se Bole Nandlala

Wah..Wah..

Yashomati Maiya Se Bole Nandlala

Tata Sky Laga Dala To Life Jhinga Lala..

Dipu-Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai-Aurato ko dekhne ka Time 9am-1pm

SANTA : Impossible Sir! College sirf 6 ghante ke liye hota hai

bhag…

Kal kya karega?

Charger to mere pass hai

Go down to see My Heart….

Dekha…
Kitna saaf hai Mera DIL,
Bole to ekdam Aapke…

Dimag K jaisa

WatS D HEIGHT OF
1(De-hydratin?
Cow givng milk powder!
2(Hope?
A 99yr.Old woman goin4 999/-rechrg 2get lifetime incoming!

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

Advanced “APRIL FOOL”…

?

?

?

Aaila!! Kisne Mera Pocket Mar Liya..

Agar mera Noukar uthaye to 2-4 galiya de dena.
Bada kamina hai,apne ap ko police batata Hai

Agar mera Noukar uthaye to 2-4 galiya de dena.
Bada kamina hai,apne ap ko police batata Hai

Santa: agar VIVAH ki shooting engineering college me hota to use kya kehte?

?

?

?

?

.

.

.

Banta: VIVA

When bullet was fired on Dog,Tiger died

Why?

B”coz the

dog’s
naMe was TIGER

Banta- Kis Se Baat Kar Rahe Ho?

Santa- Biwi Se.

Banta- Itne Pyar Se?

Santa- Tumhari Hai

Height of Laziness:
DAD: Y didnt U go 4 Exam Today?
SON: Question Paper is so tough.
DAD: Hw do U knw?
SON: Last Week itslf Questn Papr leakd!

Banta= Chinta Mat Kar Yaar, Uska Zeher khatam Ho Gaya Hoga, Recharge Karwane Aaya Hoga..!!

MURGE ki awaz sune zamane ho gaye

Puchho Q?

Q Ki

Wo Sari Raat FIRE BRIGADE Wale Ko Miss Call Deta Raha.

Bura Lage To Sorry

Me Ne Neeche Saaf

Saaf Likh Dia Hai …

“SAAF SAAF”

.

.

.

.

.
.

.

.

.

2see the time yaar

RAMDEV BABA ke YOGA k chakkar
me na padta to yahan bahut pehle aa jata

..ARE YAAR MAIN HOON NA

Ans-Yeh ladkiyan ladkon
ko kabhi khush nahi dekh sakti

Samose wala: Abe! To kiya 5Rs k samose me puri Ladki niklegi?

AEROPLANE
Wright Brothers

CYCLE
Macmillan

TELEPHONE
Graham Bell

TELESCOPE
Galileo

EXAMS
?

?

?

Saale Ko Dhundo Re, Pakad K Marenge!!

Ki Aajse har Ladki ko Maa Samjhunga
.

.

.

.

.

Apne Hone Wale Bachhon Ki..

Ladka Ghar pahucha to wakehi ghar par tala laga tha

Malika Sherawat acting as Draupdi; Then Wt wil Duryodan say?
>Dusyasn pehna do dsi ko sari. Zara hum b 2 deke Vastro me kaisi lagti hai ye Nari

-: Raavan has 10Heads, 20Eyes bt He was Luking @Only 1Girl- SITA
U hv only 1Head &2Eyes; Then Who is Real Raavan-

Abe tu..

Mirchi lgi Raavan

2 Minute k liye Maun rakho,

Un Machharo k Aatma ki Shanti k liye

Jo Kal Raat Apko katne k baad Diabetes se mar gaye

Coz U r So SWEET

Phul khil kr Udaas hai..

Samundar ko Pani ki Talash hai,

1bar to Muskura de Dost,

RAMGOPAL VERMA ko Naye BHOOT ki Talash hai

Heer ro ro kar ranjhe se keh rahi thi..

Heer ro ro kar ranjhe se keh rahi thi..

Rumaal de sale meri Naak beh rahi hai..

“Laziness is r biggest enemy” – Jawaharlal Nehru

“We should learn 2 luv r enemy” – Gandiji

Nw tel. . Who shuld i listen to?

Teacher: which
book is d most
helpful book in ur life?
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
Student:My DAD’S Cheque book
Sand…

During Kiss-0.45gm fat 0.19gm chemicals 250variety of bacteria get out,
dis is true,So pick up Ur Lover n Xchange Kisses 2stay healthy..!!

TEACHER: Wich Animal flies in air,but givs birth 2 young ones on land?

Sardar(gets excitd& Said-

AIRHOSTESS!!

HSBC:Hum Sabse Bade Chor

HDFC:Har Dum Fakir Chand

IDBI:Itna Dhan Bina Income

SBI:Sab Bhikari Idhar:):):)

*WIFE= Jab me Gana Gati hu to Aap Bahar Kyu Chale jate Ho
*HUSBAND= Taki Bahar Wale Ye Na samjhe ki Me Tumhara Gala dabaraha hu

ABHISHEKH : Mere baap k sar pe Baal hai

Daru se dosti,
Liver ko katra

Randi se dsti,
AIDS se katra

Watan se dsti,
JAAN ko katra

Hum se dsti,
Teri grlfren ko katra

TEACHER: Write Ur Lover’s Name in this Paper

>{After 5seconds..}
BOYS: Finished Madam..

>{After10 Minuts}
GIRLS:=ADDITIONAL PAPER Mam.

After Grand Success Of
MS Word
MS Excel
MS PowerPoint
If..
Microsoft Launches New Software Relatd 2Cricket
Wat Wil B Its Name?

?

MS Dhoni

.

.

.
2day i was thinking of V

2nite i wil definitely think about..W,X,Y&Z..

But,

Only a Smile Can Catch d Attention Of ‘HEART’..
.
.
.
.
.

.

.

.

So, Keeeeep
Brushing..

.

.

.

.

.

Aise Hi Tumhe Ek Din Kutta Katega..

Why?

Why?

Why

Anyway.. It is your PERSONAL MATTER I WON’T INTERFERE !!

Heer ro ro kar ranjhe se keh rahi thi..

Heer ro ro kar ranjhe se keh rahi thi..

Rumaal de sale meri Naak beh rahi hai..

BOY-
“If it was not placed so high,
people would use dat wiRe 2 dRy theiR clothes”!

3 Best Jokes of d
Collage Life:

1.”Dnt Distrb, i have 2 Study

2.”No Class, Lets go 2 d library

And d Biggest One

3.”Sir, I hav a Doubt!

*NEWS ALERT*
Koi b
Kuch b
Khane ko de

Mat Khana PLZ

Idhar-Udhar Nigah rakna

Kyuki

Goverment ne Kutta mar muhim Start ki hai

College girls- O SHIT!
Usme “RAJ” ka photo tha

UTHO NA!

JALDI KARO

HATH ME LO

SHARMAO MAT

1BAR KARO

ROJ TO KARTE HO

JALDI KARO KOI
DEKH LEGA

SMS YAAR..Kar Na

Bhagwan: Abe 1line me bolna “GIRLFRIEND”hon!

2Boys Love 1Girl
=PROBLEM!

1Boy loves 2girls =TALENT!

2girls loves 1boy
= KISMAT

.

.

.

.

.

Aise Hi Tumhe Ek Din Kutta Katega..

DiL krta hai Tujhe Kutte k Age dal du

Samne Wala Passengr Starts Barking”Wao Wao”

Hum rat me apki awaz sunte hai,sitare b apka jikr karte hai ,mat aao hamare khabome me hum “BANDER” se bahut darte hai

Train Chali, Santa aaya aur Dibbe me Chad gaya..
TTE bola:- Dikhai nai deta, Ladies Compartmnt hai.
SANTA:- Sorry Yar Muje laga Aap Mard ho

Train Chali, Santa aaya aur Dibbe me Chad gaya
TTE bola- Dikhai nahi deta Ladies Compartmnt hai
SANTA- Sorry Yaar, Mujhe laga Aap Mard ho

Collage JOKE of d Week:-
LECTURER:- Ur Head is Full of Cow Dung.
STUDENT:-Oh that’s Y U Come & Eats My Head Everyday..huh?

Sardar ToLd his FREND:-”Yaar 1LADKi Mujko HASS K Dekh rahi hai”
FRND 2SARDAR:-
Pehle Confirm kar
HASS k Dekh rahi hai Ya Dekh k HASS Rahi he

*NEWS ALERT*
Koi b
Kuch b
Khane ko de

Mat Khana PLZ

Idhar-Udhar Nigah rakna

Kyuki

Goverment ne Kutta mar muhim Start ki hai

Yory saar neend me hu na sisiliye ipelling histake mo ha

Teachr:
“Dfine d word ‘LECTURER”?

Studnt: “LECTURER is a Persn who has a bad habit of speaking Wn Sum1 is SLEEPING

Lagta he Saala Paani me hi kuch gadbad he

DOCTOR-Kya Hua?
GIRL-Susu Ka Rasta Band Ho Gaya
D-Kaise
G-Mene Galti Se Vaseline Samaj K Crack Cream Laga li

Sardar saw Poster at a Plice Station
“2 Gujrati Men Wanted 4 Rape”
SARDAR:- Sala..These Gujratis always get d bst Job.

DENTIST ki Beti:- Aaj fir Tumne Apni Shadi ki Baat Dad se Nahi ki?
BOY:- Bas Aaj fir Mera Hausla nahi hua aur fir Ek Daant nikalwa liya..

Maths Teacher 2a Dull Boy: If U hv 12 Chocolats &U giv 5 2 Hina, 3 to Tina, 4 to Meena,Thn Wt wil U get?
Stud: 3 New Haseena

In a Pot,thr r 10fishes,1died & d water level increases

Hw?

Think Little

D Other 9 Fishes r crying
Tht’s Frndshp

A FUNNY QUOTE:

“Come Like A Horse,

Sit Like A Thief, And,

Go Like A King..!!!

Amitabh Public Toilet Me Se Pura Bhig K Ata H

Jaya:Ap To Susu Krne Gye The

A:Jese Hi Me Ander Gya,Koi Bola ‘BIG B’ Aur Sab Meri Taraf Ghum Gye

Kal Kare So Aaj Kar..
Aaj Kare So Ab..

!

!

Abey Karta Hi Rahega Toh Dhoyega Kab..

A Cigar reduces a mans lif by 8 min.
Smiling increases a mans lif by 10 min.
MORAL: A smiling smoker never dies

Mujrim-Nahi Mai Andha Ho Jaunga.!

Jg-Kan Katne Se Andhe Kese Hoge.?

Mujrim-Chasma Nahi Pahen Sakunga Na..!!

Paro:
Teri kurbani bekar nahi jaayegi,
Rakh yaha bhej de bartan ghisne kaam aayegi…!

Chhod Yar

Bander kya jaane Adrak ka Swad.

Then apply

“ASIAN PAINTS”

Exterior Emulsion

7 years guarantee!

The first time in India, We are introducing a ” 3D ” message in your mobile………..

D D D

students

Filling Revaluation forms

before results…

TEACHER: Water ka formula batao?
SARDAR: H2MgClNaClHN3HCletc
TEACHER:Ye kya hai?
Srdr: Sir ye Ganga ka poluted pani hai

SUNDAY MEANS

S=Sote Raho

u=Utho Der se

N=Nahao Mat

D=Dekte Raho T.V

A=Aram karo Din bhar

Y=Yaad karo sirf Hame

One day a girl will come in ur life..

come close to u..

hug u..

kiss u..

&

.

will say..

.

.

I LOVE U DADDY!!!

Aankho Me Aansu Lana Mat

Is Baar Pitayi Bahut Hogi

IsLiye Masjib Se ChappaL churana Mat

Chappal Chor

Ha!Tu

Tab Itna gussa aata hai..

Aur,Dil to chahta hai..

Ki..

Jute utar ke…

Chappal pehen lu

If U r in
“LOVE”
Then Press-Down

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Thahar jao abhi Tumhari mummy ko batate He
Badi pyaar ki aag lagi He…

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Chinta na karo aapke mobile ka button nahi kharab hai maine kai sitare aake liye bheje hai

Fir Santa ne usko call kiya or kaha-
“OYE HELLO ! Tumhe maalum hai kya ! Tumhare mobile
ki INK KHATM HO GAYI HA

,

,

,

,

,

.

.
Mera Matlab Rassi se….Kyun k Baarish ka kuch Pata nahi

Paro:
Teri kurbani bekar nahi jaayegi,
“Raakh” yaha bhej de Bartan ghisne k kaam aayegi…!

I am Fool

I am Fool

I am Fool

I am Fool

I am Fool

Ok ok cool.
I agree u r fool.
Control urself.!
Happy Fools Day

Ishq karo office wali se,

Flirt karo pdos wali se,

Pyar karo dilwali se,

aur maar khao ghar wali se

Aaqa: Mere a/c me 50 Cr cash & katrina se shadi 10 sec mein kara do.

Jin: Aaqa….! Hukum karo.
Mazak nahi…!

bilkul
pagal tha..

Zabardast
pagal tha..

Bahot
Khatarnak
pagal tha..

Aap mat
ghabrao

Apke Samne
To Wo
Kuch B Nai
Tha

A Camel’s Penis Is Called DUDE!

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Gin le N pure 73 he

Student: Sir i am nt sure but i think frm 15 to 26 page

To Usne Apne Baap Ki Photo Kabristan Me 1 Ped Pe Latka Di
Aur Niche Likha

“COMING SOON”

-: HaR Kisi Ko Gham Nai Milta
AuR HaR 1 Ko SANAM Nai Milta

.

.

.

.

Sale Tension Aata Hai Jb Desi Dukan Me RUM Nai Milti

Aaj 1 April He
Maine Socha Ap SabKo Fool Banau

Par

Mujhe Laga

Ki

zarurat hi Nhi He

-: :::HAPPY B’DAY:::

So,

YoU aRe ThE bEsT&cUtE “fOoL”

“coNGratuLatiOnS..Keep IT up”

1st:
“Jo Aise Msg Padhte HE”.

2nd:
“jo aise msg ko pura padhte hE”.!

Sardar-Dadaji Ne Bola Mene Unka Nam Mitti Me Mila Diya,
Wohi Dhund Raha Hun

Paper Se Pehle Ki
“DUA”

.

.

.

.

.

BHAGWAN !!
Is Baar Pass
Kara De
Next Time
Zaruur Padhuga

Doctor- Jab Tak Tum Mera Bill Na De Do..

No tension,

Eat BINGO…
No confusion Great combination!!..ADARSH

1 Rahen Bhullu,

1 Rahen ULLU,

Chullu 11vi Me Padhat Rahen,

Bhullu 12vi Me Padhat Rahen,

Aur ULLU

“SMS” Padhat Rahen

Birds + Sky = Lovely Day

Dreams + Love = Beautiful World

But U + Ur Sweet Smile =
HAIWAN JAAG UTHA
ha..ha..

Pappu-Sir,Start Krne k liye 2000?
Aur Driving krne k Liye Kitna Salary

Thahar jao abhi Tumhari mummy ko batate He
Badi pyaar ki aag lagi He…

Friends Jaldi Check Karo..

Kya Tumhara T.V. Chal RAHA Hai?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

Pakad Lo,

Nahi To Bhag Jayega..

“AB KAR LO SUSU CHADDI MEIN.”

Dhirubhai ka sapna, Har ghar mein ho diaper apna

APARATUS=Mobile

PROCEDURE=
1(Missed call
2(Blank msg
3(Repeat 1&2

RESULT =U r Disturbed

CONCLUSION=I m Happy

oNe YouNg MaN Died
iN Hell He Asked Yama:
“Why Did U Kill Me.?

Sardar Brought 2 corner tickets

A1…………..A24

Yaqhn nahi aata..

Suraj ki Kasam..!!

Aaila!!

Andhera kaise ho gya?

It was Santa’s wedding anniversary.
Preeto:Shall v hv Tandoori chicken to celebrate?
Santa: y punish poor chiken for da mistake we
made?

Per ye log bahut jalim hai,
Kahte haiKahte hai
ZOO band ho gaya hai kal aana.

Garmiya aa gayi he dost

sir pe gila aur thanda
kapda rakhna

barf lagate rhna

suraj se bach k rhana

kyuki

BHUSA JALDI AAG PAKADTA HAI

Santa: Haan,

Puchhta Hu, Par Mujhe Kabhi Deta Hi Nahi..

2 baar padthe ho sharam nhi ati?
ABC me “1″ kahan ata hai?

DoNt DriNk Water
While StudyiNg
Because.,

“CoNceNtratioN
Gets Diluted.,”

Kya Khau to Potty Nikle

Dr-Gu Kha

.

Need True Luv?

.

.

“SPEND RS.50 BUY A PILOW”

AUTO DRIVER..
Peep..Peep!!???4

Kya chali teri Aandhi,

Aaya tha langot me

AUR ghus gaya,

10,
20,
50,
100,
500,
1000
k Note me!

A Poor Boy
Suffring 4m Mental
Disorder Needs Shock Treatment
Plz Send Ur Photo
So dt He Gets d
PROPER SHOCK

Girl-Me Tere Liye Sb Kuch Chod Dugi

Boy-Maa Baap
G-Yes

B-Bhai Behan
G-Yes

B-Frnds
G-Yes

B-Star Plus
G-Muh Sambhal K Baat Kr

kyu ki….

”SPELLING MISTAKE THI..

Why?

Kyunki Aaj B
INDIA Ki
Bholi Janta
KAAM-DHANDHA Chod Kar
Hamara SMS Padhti hai..

Waise hi Muje 2-4 sms bhejne se tum bhikari nahi ban jaate

Guess

Think

Bcoz his name was Arya

MORAL:-Dnt think like a Scientist

U Were Born,

Not

DOWNLOADED!

“Akele He Theek The Yaar”..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Mere SMS ko padne ka JUNOON..

.

.

.

.

.

.

Book &Study!

I need Ur Contribution
to my Collection.
Toh ghar me jitne bhi 10/50/100/500 / 1000 ke notes ho bhej do

Hanso

Khelo

NAACHO

Gao

Uchloo

Kudo

Dunya ki parwa mat kero

Q
K

Duniya Janti Hay K
PAGAL
aisi harkatein karte hain..!

1( Drop Down The Mirror

2( Throw A Stone On The Mirror

3(U Go in Front Of The Mirror & Just Smile.

Vry gud ur training has been completed!
Now go & stand in front of the gate!!!

-: Policeman stopped a Car, which didn’t stop at signal.
Didn’t u see d signal? ‘Yes i did’,
Replied d driver.
But I didn’t see U

I dint kil her

I jst askd her’wil u marry me?’

Khushi k mare mar gyi

And now

539
terrorists
will
soon
come
by.

VOTE

JAAGO INDIA JAAGO
Dnt 4gt 2Vote 4 d Right 1.

.

50 in BUS

.

10 in SUMO

.

6 in CAR

.

4 in AUTO

.

2 in BIKE

.

but

.

Only
1

MASTER

.

dats

.

‘TUBELIGHT’

BUT HE DUNNO D WORD CHICKEN

Waiter ASK:wat do U Want?
Srdr:I want
EGG’S MOTHER’S FRY

SARDAR: Use kutta, Kamina kuch b keh do, Kaunsa Wo Sun lega…

Jab Koi Mushkil Pad Jaye

To

To

To…???

To Yaad Rakho

“Jaisi Karni Waisi bharni”

“PAAPI”

Sardar sochta reh gaya
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Aur kaha
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
“KYA BOLTI TU”

No

Think

Think again

Never Mind

Now
See Ur
VOTING ID CARD

SARDAR Replied: Tu Ek kaam kar, tabtak tu STOVE ka Istemal kar.

“If U r able to see this, Plz Tel me dat My GIRL-FRIEND has Fallen Off”

Kyu Nahi Samjha?

A Sardar stands up-We must find n stop her

SANTA: Car’s Break has Failed
We shud reach Home b4 Accident

Driver-But Sir, U said U want 2 reach d Hospital fast

Boss-Yes, but not as a Patient!

Joke1:
New addition to Newtons law of Motion
“Loose Motion can nevr b done in slow motion.”

, , , Aacha bhla
(‘.’) dost tha
”
_/”’\_

Maine

Gardan
_/’ ‘\_ uda di

SMS nhi krta tha!
Khair Aap To Samajhdar

Train Statn par ruki
Ek Aadmi khidki k pas baite Srdr se pucha “Kaun sa Statn hai?
SARDR bahr dekh k bola- Lagta hai “RAILWAY STATN”

“If U Kiss Me
U’ll B In Danger”
“If U Miss Me
U’ll B Safe”

.

.

.

.

.

.

Shocked Na!

Aisa Lorry K
Piche Likha
tha Yaar.!!

Pati- Aaj tumne ye kaisa khana banaya hai,
GOBAR jaisa.

Patni- HEY RAM!!
is aadmi ne kya-kya taste kar rakha hai..!!

How CaN a Father Make his Daughter walk oN The Street LookiNg DowN The Earth?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Just Gift Her A Mobile Wit Free Sms..

Zindgi apni Masti me jiya kro
Ishq buri chiz he mat kiya kro
Apna Pura dhyan Padhai/Job ki aur Mod do Aur Apni GirlFrnd ko mere bhrose Chod do..

Hi !!

!

“THIS IS MY FACE”!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“AB NEECHE KYA MERI CHADDI DHUND RAHE HO”..!!

N

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

There r so many New Ones..
Try a Different One Each Day..!!

-Y r U Late?
-Bike Puncture!
-Y dont U come in BUS?
-I’m Not So Rich to buy a BUS, Sir!

.

.

.

.

So

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Dont see miRRoR!

Why Boys goes to Temple?
>To get
Pooja,
Arathi,
Archana..
&Why Girls goes to Temples?
>To get
Prasad,
Darshan,
Abishek..

Wat Do U Call WeN PakistaNi Throws A Bomb oN iNdia
-TERRORISM
N
WeN PakistaNi Throws It oN PakistaN,.?
-GANG WAR.,

Kya
kr
rhe
ho?

Busy
ho?

Kitne
busy
ho?

Thoda
ho?
Ya bahut
ho?

Agar
thoda,
to
sms Kyu
nhi
krte ho?
aur
agar
Zyada
ho to

SmS kyu
padh
rhe ho?

He Answrd:-
Go Hang Urself.

Kid:
Yes!

DOCTOR:
When..?

Kid:
“When I tried to spell it”

SANTA: In Maharshtra

TEACHR: Can U Spell it?

SANTA: I Think My House is in GOA
. . . A 992 i
n0279q biquT2
2m2 pni992
.2iHT 9>IiI

{Use Mirror to read} dnt erase!

HUSBAND: Whats d Need?
Ur LIPS r Sweet!

Wife:For U its OK,
Bt Wt if Ur Frns Come?

.

.

.

dies Coz of
BIRD-FLU

>Malika Gave Him 1000Rs

SECRETORY:
Y U Gave Him 1000 Rs?

MALLIKA:Pehli Bar Kisine Behen Kha

Jab

Aap hoge

Ham Hoge

aur

Hamare

Chote-Chote

Pyare Pyare

Khubsurat se

Shararti se

SmS hoge

Batao KAISE?

1 Pair Par Kadi Thi Na..

Upper Roller Lower Roller
Roller Lower Roller Upper

A Kid gets 0 in a Paper

Angry Father says Wt is this?

Kid replies: Teacher k paas STAR khatam ho gye,
to MOON de diya..

SANTA-Tere Ghar
Me ‘LATRIN’ Bni He Kya?

BANTA-Bani Hai
or Tere Ghar Me
SANTA-Mere Ghar To
DAAL-CHAWAL
Bana Hai..

Om Sai RAM

Wahe GURU

Jai Shri KRISHNA

Jai MATA Di

Dar Mat

5-10 Logo ko
Forwrd Nhi Krna h

Khud hi Jap le PAAPI

Paap kam ho jyge

When Sadness fills Ur Heart,
When Tears flow in Ur Eyes,
Remember 3 Things
1. I’m with U
2. U have Money
3. Bar is Open, Lets go

NEW Budget of 2010
{Govt.Imposes Havy Tax}
1.Flirtring-5%
2.Dating-10%
3.Hugging-20%
4.Kissing-35%
Tum tension mat lo.GHOORNA abhi b Free

This is Very Dangerous Msg
So, dnt alow
Childrns,
Old Pepl,
Heart Patients,
Pregnant Ladies
2 Read it

U r BEAUTIFUL

Husbnd asks again
>No Answr

Thn he again askd
>WIFE: Nahi kaha..
Plz ab Bhokna band karo…!!!

OM PURI is Kidnappd by Taliban. NSG launches an Operatn to Save him.
Guess, Wats d Operatn b Calld?

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Sev-PURI

Des
Ka
Bacha-Bacha
Bigad
Rha
He.
BhaiBhai
Lad
Rhe
He.
Ldka
Zabrdsti
Ldki
Ko
Kiss
Kr
Rha
He.
Itna
Kuch
Ho
Rha
He
Aur
Tu
SMS
Pad
Rha
H

Ab
Has mat

BRITISH: Why U Indians r in different Colors.?
Look Us, We all r White.
SANTA: Horses r in diferent Colour,
But Donkeys r all d Same.

Which Is d ThiNNest Book iN The World?
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Wt MeN KNow Abt WomeN

Santa:Main tere 64 k 64 Daant Tod Dunga

1 Admi bola:Daant to 32 Hote He

Santa:Mujhe Pata tha Tu bich me bolega
Tere bhi Gin liye the.!!

2Pyaj
3Lahsun
5gm Jeera
3Kali Mirch
2Spoon Salt
4Spoon Oil
1Cup Watr
Hara Dhaniya

Pata he Hum Kya bana rhe he?

Apko ULLU
Wo b
SWAD-ANUSAR

Wo Geyser ka Pani
Wo Shampo ki Scnt
Wo Soap ki Khusbu Wo Mehkta Deo,
Wo Soft Towel,
Wo dhule Kapde..
Jane do..
Tum Kya Jano Roj Nahne ka Mazaa..

Things to Remember in Life.. “Love Ur Frds, Not their Sisters” . . .

And

“Love Ur Sister, Not their Friends”…

Son: PAPA, Aaj me Bus k piche daud k ghar aya, jis se mene 3Rs bachaye
SARDAR: Oye kr diti na Sardaro wali baat. Auto k piche ata to 30Rs bachte

TTE of Train fines Girls widout Ticket
>Girl in Sari fined Rs60
>In Mini Skirt-40
>In Shorts-20
>1Girl fined Rs0

Y?

DIRTY MIND She hd TICKET

DOCTR:Apka aur apki Biwi ka Blood Grp Ek hi hai?
PATI:Hoga hi; 25 Saal se mera Khoon jo pee rahi hai

A Boy proposed his GirlFrnd in New Style:

Tu Pudiney ki Chattni,
Mai Paneer tikka..

Ban Ja Meri Rakhi Sawant aur Mai tera Mikka..

Pappu went 2 a Shop & Said-
Black Colour ka bulb do

Shopkeeper asked-
Kaha lagana hE?

Pappu-
DopAhar ko andhera kar k sona he.

Sardr Caught
His Wife In An Affair.
He Decided to KiLL Her & Himself.
HE Puts GUN On HIs Head,
Luks At HIs Wife & Says-DONT Laugh,
U R NEXT.

Gana sunoge

O
OO
OOO
OOOO
OOOOO
OOOOOO
OOOOOOO
OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOO
Huzuur
13 13 13
13 13 13 13
13 13 13 13 13
Suroor

Fokut me to aisa hi milega

Santa ki Wife ka
Rang Kala tha
Ek Din Red Saree
Pehan K
pucha: Me Kaisi
Dikh Rahi Hu?

Snta:Jaise Kajal Ki Factory Me Aag Lag Gayi Ho !!

Gandhiji had 3MONKEY

>1st Died
>2nd went Africa fr Job
>3rd is Readng

>NEWSPAPER

Kya Yaar tu Hamesa khud ko MONKEY Kyu samajta he?

A little boy asked his Father:-
Daddy, How much does it Cost to get Married?
I don’t know;
Son, I’m still paying

A little boy asked his Father:-
“Daddy, How much does it Cost to get Married?

Teacher-Tumne ‘MY DOG’ pr jo Essay likha hai,
Wo tumare Bhai k Essay se bilkul milta hai!
RAJ-Sis, Maine b usi Dog pr Essay likha h

God ne Apko
BHEJA to
BHEJA Lekin
BHEJA to aisa BHEJA ki
BHEJE me
BHEJA hi nai
BHEJA

Ye kisi ne muje BHEJA isliye maine apka kr dia BHEJA_FRY

Wn I Cry,No1 Sees My Tears
Wn I m Woried,No1 Sees My Pain
Wn I m Happy,No1 Sees My Smile
Bt 1Ladki k sath ghum lo to sali sari Dunya dekh leti h

Girl’s Father 2
Son-in-Law:Do U drink?
Son-in-Law:1st tell Me whethr it is a QUESTION or An INVITATION!

Jb se hai dekha tumhe neend nai aati mujhe, Jb b yad ati hai tumari dil se ek Awaz he Aati

JAL TU JALAL TU AAI BALA KO TAL TU

Apki Ankhe Jheel se,Ji Chata hai inme

>
> >
>
>>
>
>
Maachliya chod du

Man Kills Mad-Dog 2Save Lady
Newspapr:INDIAN SAVS LADY
Man-I’m Nt Indian
NewsP:FORNER SAVS LADY
Man-Im Pakstani
NewP:TERRORIST ATACKS LOCAL DOG

Kya Aap Panchvi Pass Se Tez Ho ?

To Batao..

AGAR RAM SITA HAI,
TO
RAM KYA HAI ?

Socho Socho..

..

..

Simple Yaar,

‘DARZI’

Kal Raat Kitab Mujhe dekhti rahi,
Neend Mujhe Apni or Ghasitti rhi,
Neend ka Jhoka Mera Mann Moh gaya,
Aur 1Raat fir ye Ladka bina Padhe so gaya

History teacher asked
Santa:-Name Kalidas’s Brother Who was a Shoemaker.

Santa:- Adidas!!

PAGAL- Dr. Mai Khud ko Bhagwan Samjhne Laga hu
DOCTOR: Ye Problem kabse hai?
PAGAL: Jabse Maine ye Duniya banai hai

Lo Meri GIRL-FRND ka Photo dekho..

Thoda aur aage

Thoda aur

Nahi dikhi?
Kamine, BHABHI ki Nazar se dekhta to Zarur dikhti!

Y do Sardar Study in front of Mirror?

Bcoz
1.Revision b Sath me ho jata he
2.Wo Apne Upar Nazar rakh skta he
3.Usse Combine Study ho jati he

During Exam, How GIRLS Manage Time:
1.Counting No. of Boyz.
2.Watching Boy Superviser.
3.Feeling Bad 4 Wasting Last Nite.

This Might Sound Stupid Infact Its True:

N0 Matter Hw C0stly Ur Undrwear Is,
U Can Nevr Wear It 0utside

World Class Level PJ..

What is Opposite of IIT?

.

.

.

“U U COFFEE”

Can U beat this PJ

Next Year There Will Be Pakistan Premier League
Same As IPL But Only One Difference Wil Be..

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Cheer Girls Will Be Wearing Burkha..

2 Cockroaches wer admited side by side in a Hospital

1st Cockroach:Wats Up dude,BAYGON Spray mara?
2nd Cockroach: Na yaar,BATA CHAPPAL se mara!

Ha..
Ha Ha..
Ha Ha Ha..

He He He He..
Hooo..
Ha Ha Ha Ha..

Nothing Yaar,
I Suddnly Rememberd Ur Face
Oh My God
Wt a Funnny Creation..

Funny Names of Shops & Stores

1.MAHATMA GANDHI HAIR DRESSERS

2.SRI GOMATESHWARA TEXTILE

3.GOVINDA LOTTERIES

4.VYKUNTA CLINIC

British: Do U knw Swiming?
SARDAR: No
B: Pig is better den U, It Swims
S: D U knw Swiming?
B:Yes
S: Thn, Wats d diff btwn U & Pig
>SINGH IS KING

Jab tum Haste ho to lgta he
Insaan kabi Bandar tha

Plz Naaraz mat hona Dost

Kyuki

Jab Tum Naaraz hote ho
to lgta hai Insan Aaj b Bandar he

Tired Of Many Greetings dat Comes Like
Good MOrning
Good Noon
GoodEvening
Good Night
&So On
Now Here’s My Simple Fresh Line
Potty ki kya?

A Woodcutter was returning from d Woods. Suddenly all Girls Startd following him.

Y

Y

Y

Y

Y

Ans-
“AXE” Effect

Ye hai RAMDEV Baba ka

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“Thumbs Exercise”

Do U know d Meanig of these things-
1 Girlfriend
2 Lover
3 Wife
4 X Girlfriend
Very simple-
1 Prepaid
2 Postpaid
3 Lifetime
4 Missed Call

1 Vakeel Sardar Road pe Potty krte Time Police ne pakad liya

Jab usey le jaane lage to Sardar bola:
“SABOOT TO UTHA LO nahi to Case haar jaoge”

TEACHER: Bada ho
k kya banega?
SARDAR:Pilot
TCHR:Kyu?
SARDR:Upar Accidnt
ka Khatra nahi
hota Sir!

Once, there was a Mirror dat Killed Any1 Who lied

FRNCH: I Think, I dont Smoke-DIED

AMERICAN:
I Think,
I LuV My Wife-DIED

SARDAR:I Think-DIED

Arz Hai-
Dil Diya Tha Jisko Diwani Samajh Kar

Kha Gyi Wo Biryani Samajh Kar

Ek Katra B Na Chhoda Khoon Ka

Pi Gyi Usko B Nimbu Pani Samajh Kar

GirlFrnd aur Police me kya fark hota he

Socho

Aur Socho

.

.

.

Nai Pata

.

Dono hi Paise kha kr Chod dete he

Jab AP Hame Bhul Jayge
To
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
31
32
Gino Mat
Pure Dant Tod Diye Jayge

Pappu while filling up a form:
What shud I write against Mother tongue?

Santa: Very long…!

An Ass,
Behind another Ass,
Behind dat I &Behind Me d Whole Nation!

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Sardar Teaching his Childrens d Meaning of
“ASSASSINATION”

Ek Pagalkhane Me PagaL Nach Rhe the.
Un Me Se Ek PagaL Khamosh Betha Tha
DR. Ne Pucha
Tum Q Khamosh Bethe Ho?
PagaL Ne Kaha
Bewaquf Me Dulha Hu!

I saw Dream last Nyt
Only U &Me
U knw Wt happnd?

U were lookin so Inocent
Coz
I was eating MAGGIE
&U were saying

1Chamach khila de na..

A Successful Marriage depends on one simple Equation:
>Wife having Beauty Secrets &
>Husband having Secret Beauties..

Lady to police: Mere Pati 5 din pehle Aalu lane Baazar gye the par ab tak laute nahi.
POLICE: To fir tum koi dusri Vegetable kyu nahi banati

Semi English Shayri…
>The Janaza of Mehboob nikla 4m d Gali of Mehbooba with Lots of
Zor-Shor.
Mehbooba jhaki 4m d Door &boli
“gya Haramkhor”

U know Why??

Because he wanted to check; From where d Question paper was leaking?

1 Vakeel Sardar Road pe Potty krte Time Police ne pakad liya

Jab usey le jaane lage to Sardar bola:
“SABOOT TO UTHA LO nahi to Case haar jaoge”

Tum pass aaye
Yun muskuraye

Tum ne jo apne 32 dant dikhaye
Dekh ke mera dil fut-fut ke rota h Yar tum se brush bhi dhang se nhi hota hai

In First Month,
Boss Gave His Hot Secretary a Skirt As Salary

Second Month??
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He
RAISED
d
Salary!

Gita me Likha hai..
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Are yaha nai GITA me likha hai..

Words Writn in NEW MS WINDOWS 2010 Hindi

SAVE=bachao

SAVE AS=aise bachao

SAVE ALL=sabko bachao

HELP=mujhe bachao

SAVE & EXIT=bachake BHAGO

A Sardar went to temple on
Hanuman Jayanti

Pujari gave him Aarti
Guess what sardar did?

Socho?

Sardar blew
Diya &said
Happy B’day Hanumanji

Lecturer: U idiots!
At ur age Einstein ranked First in class Wt
abt u?
Students:Sir at ur age Hitler
comited
suicide! Wt abt
u?…

In Forest 10 People were Walkng
{Includng Me}

Suddnly TIGER came &Killed 9 Pepl bt didnt TOUCH Me!

Why?

TIGER-TIGER Frnds..

Wenevr U feel d World is Empty n Full of Darkness.
Just call me..
I wil take U to
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An Eye specialist..!!!

BOY:Mere Sapne Me 1Sundar Ladki Ayi

GIRL:Akeli Ayi Hogi?

B:Tumhe Kaise Pata?

G:Uska Husband Mere Sapne me aya tha!

“Small Aim is
Biggest Crime”.
-ABDUL KALAM.

So, 4m dis, 1 BOY Said-

“Dont Aim on Local figures.
Aim only on Foreign Babes”

Some One

Is Loving U

Caring for U

Watching over U

Protecting U

Guess Who?

A Girl! Na-Na

Neighbour’s Dog!:-)

Mere MOBILE ka Accident ho gaya he
Bahut sms beh gaye he
Dr. ne kaha he Operatin k liye sms ki bahut jarurt h
Mere No.9272318577 par Plz donate

Plz pass this SMS to all ur frnds.A person,blood group B+, urgently needs 2 bottles ..

of Kingfisher beer(chilled(wid
chips.It’s urgent

If A Negro Writes A Letter 2U
What Wil It b Called
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BLACKMAIL..!!

Teacher: Sach aur veham me kya fark hai?
Student: Aap jo hame padha rahi hain wo sach,
lekin hum padh rahe hain ye aapka veham hai

Husband: Did U have any boy friend befor our marriage?
:
:
:
:
:
me is khamoshi ko kya samjhu?
Wife:darling mujhe gin to lene do

Wenevr U feel d World is Empty n Full of Darkness.
Just call me..
I wil take U to
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An Eye specialist..!!!

Teacher: Sach aur veham me kya fark hai?
Student: Aap jo hame padha rahi hain wo sach,
lekin hum padh rahe hain ye aapka veham hai

Husband: Did U have any boy friend befor our marriage?
:
:
:
:
:
me is khamoshi ko kya samjhu?
Wife:darling mujhe gin to lene do

A Lady Kissing a Lion inside d Cage in Circus
RING-MASTR:Can any1 do it?
SARDAR:Me Kr Sakta Hu,
Pr Pehle Samne se Lion ko Hatao

Enginrng ViVa
INTERVIEWR:
Hw does an Electric Motor run?
STUDNT:
dhurrrrrrr

INTRVIEWR shouts:
STOP it?

STUDNT:dhur.. dhup..dup..dup.. dhush..

Height of Technical Overdose

A Computer Software Engineer falling 4m d Roof of a Buildng &Shouts
.
.
.
.

F1 F1

F1 F1

Instead of
Help Help!

Wn U Feel Lonely & U Thinks dt Nobody Luvs U,
Nobody Remembrs U
Thn Sit in Corner, Close Ur Eyes & Say these Magical Words

SAB KUTTE HAI SAALE

Do U Knw d Meaning Of
A B C D E F G…
>A Boy Can Do Evrytng For Girl

Ab Ulta
G F E D C B A..
>Grl Forgts Evrytng Done & Catchs New Boy Again..

SARDAR:I Lost My Dog
POLICE:Put An Advrtisemnt in Newspapr

SARDAR:Dnt b Silly

*RITA:: Can U Define BOSS?
*RANI:: BOSS is a Person Who Thinks dat NINE Women can Produce a Child in ONE Month.
So Disgusting

Santa-CYCLONE kise kehte he

Banta-CYCLE kharidne ke liye
jo LOAN lete he use CYCLONE kehte he

Gals dont like 2 study much!
Y!
Socho..
Arey socho
Bcoz..
de know ki dunia k kisi na kisi kone mein koi na koi gadha unke liye pad hi raha hoga!

>MAALIK: Ramu,Iss Saal Tum 4 Baar Apne Dada Ke Marne Ki Chhutttiya Le Chuke Ho.!
>RAMU: Maalik, Iss Baar Meri Dadi Ki Shaadi He

DOCTOR To a KID:
Have u ever had trouble wit
“Appendicitis”.?

Kid:
Yes!

DOCTOR:
When..?

Kid:
“When I tried to spell it”

Teacher to Santa: Where Is Ur house?

SANTA: In Maharshtra

TEACHR: Can U Spell it?

SANTA: I Think My House is in GOA

Wife: Plz get 1 kg Sugar Urgntly 4m Shop,
I Need 2make Tea

HUSBAND: Whats d Need?
Ur LIPS r Sweet!

Wife:For U its OK,
Bt Wt if Ur Frns Come?

Wat is faster dan a coin rolling dwn a steep slope?

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A marwadi running 2 catch it.

Hum Unki Gali se Gujre ajib Itefaaq tha

Unhone Gulab ka FUL Feka

.

Par Sala

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GAMLA b sath tha

Banta wants 2Repair his Mobile
So He goes 2Doctor
SANTA:Y r U going 2Doctr
Go 2d Mob Repairer
Banta refuses&says”I want 2Repair My Blutooth”

A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
X
Y
Z
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
-
%
!
&
?

Thank GOD,
All My Cell Buttons r Working.
Sorry 2 Disturb U.!!

The Heart of Boys is lyk a Temple!
Holy,
Truthful,
Pure..
Thats Why,
Wen Boys Say,
‘I Love You’
>Girls Remove their Slippers..!

Hai

Smart

bohat

wo

hai

bheja

Ne

Jis

Aur

hu

rha

padh

se

Niche

ko

Msg

Jo

hu

Stupid

wo

Mai

Confused?
Ab Niche se upar padho

Jaanam

Humse Panga Mat Lena..?

kyu Ki,
Jin Toofano Me
Logo K chhappal Ud Jate Hai

Un Toofano me Humari

UNDERWEAR Sukh-te hai

Yaha khuda hai

Waha khuda hai

Jaha b dekho wahi khuda hai

Aur…

Jaha khuda nahi hai..
.

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.

.

Waha kal khudega.
Kaam chalu hai

Studnt @Medical shop:I Need Poison

CHEMIST:I can’t sel U Poison

Studnt shws BTECH syllbus
book
CHEMIST:O Sory
I didnt knw U
had PRESCRIPTION

Worlds 3 Shortest JOKES-

1}Two Womens r siting QUIET

2} 2 Sardars r Playing CHESS

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3}Girl-Friend Pays BILL

Time 4 a Deadly PJ

Wt do U Call a Person Who Shakes d Moon??

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Think

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GUESS..

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CHANDRASHEKAR

Rawan K Sar: 10
Akhe:20
Nazar:Sirf 1 Ladki Par

Aap Ka Sar: 1 Aankhe: 2
Nazar: Har Ladki Par!

Dog was doing SuSu {TOILET}
on d Wall
Suddnly Wall Fell on Dog&
He DiEd On d Spot.
Then All Dogs Dcided 2giv 1Leg SuPort 2Wal
While Doing SuSu!

Siddhu ki Maa ko Gussa kab aata hai?

Jab Siddhu Laughter Challenge me Hans-Hans k har Ek Contestant se Kehta hai-

“Bas kar Mere BAAP”

Some Funny Fact’s:
*Wt Wish wud Stars make Wn they saw falling Peple
*Do they hav a Coffee break at d Tea Factory ?

Sign on d door of a Toilet in these Time of Recession.,

Conserve Toilet Paper,
Use both d Sides..

INTERVIEWR: Tel Me Opposite of Good
SARDR: Bad
Intw: Oh Come On
SRDR:Go Back
Intw: Shut-Up
SRDR: Open down
Intw: U r Rejectd!
SRDR: I m Selectd!

Nyt Was Dark

Moon Was High

Boy Stopd Bike

Girl Askd Y?

He Came Close

She Felt Shy
&He Said

Dhakka Maar Heroine,
Petrol Khatm Ho Gya

.

How Smart U R..!

.

How Sweet U R..!

.

But,..

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.

why U R coming only in vodafone add.?:-)

A University’s Advt.
R u a studnt scoring high marks?
Bored of gettin gud marks?
Join Engg
C d diffrnce in jst 4yrs.
“Marks se nomarks tak”

Hamesha Logo ko Achhe Msgs bhejo

Bcoz

“Jab apki Saanse rukengi”

TAB Logo ki Zuban se niklega

Tha to Kamina Lekin SMS achhe bhejta tha…

A w0man has d last w0rd in any Argument.
Anything a Man says after that is the begining 0f a New Argument!

SANTA: Kya Tum Mere Naye Doggy k Sath Kheloge?

BANTA:
Bahut Khatarnak dikhta he? Kya Wo Kat-ta he?

SANTA:
Wahi to Mai dekhna Chahta hu..

Can a GIRL make you a MILLIONAIRE??

.

.
…..Yes !!

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Conditions Apply: You must be a BILLIONAIRE…

Sardar was suffering from loose motion
Doctor asked him: wat is ur problem?
He said:Free outgoing with variety of RING tones.

Rawan K Sar: 10
Akhe:20
Nazar:Sirf 1 Ladki Par

Aap Ka Sar: 1 Aankhe: 2
Nazar: Har Ladki Par!

>Ab Batao Asali Ravan Kaun?

SANTA: Yaar,
“Meri Door Ki Nazar
Kharab He Chashma Lena Pdega
BANTA: Wo Kya Chamak Raha Hai?
SANTA- Suraj
Banta- Bhosdike, Aur Kitne Dur Dekhega

Signboard Signifying Recession in Front Of A Restaurant-

”Come in,
Or Both Of Us Will
Starve.!!”

-Y r U Late?
-Bike Puncture!
-Y dont U come in BUS?
-I’m Not So Rich to buy a BUS, Sir!

“FeaR is the main Reason foR eveRy failuRes”

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So

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Dont see miRRoR!

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You Swipe The Card
&
BaNk A.T.M MachiNe Shows This Message
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“AGEY CHALO BABA”

Why Boys goes to Temple?
>To get
Pooja,
Arathi,
Archana..
&Why Girls goes to Temples?
>To get
Prasad,
Darshan,
Abishek..

Heart f boys r lik a temple!
Holy,
truthful,
pure
Thats y,when boys say,
‘I LUV U’,
gals remove their SLIPPERS..!

Wat Do U Call WeN PakistaNi Throws A Bomb oN iNdia
-TERRORISM
N
WeN PakistaNi Throws It oN PakistaN,.?
-GANG WAR.

Hi!
Wt happnd!
No SMS
No Calls

Why?

No Rechrge?

OK

I m Snding d Rechrge Card No:

lllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Scrtch here wid blade

Wen 2 Couples come Face to Face, WIVES look at each Other’s Saris & HUSBANDS look at each Other’s Wife.

Kya
kr
rhe
ho?

Busy
ho?

Kitne
busy
ho?

Thoda
ho?
Ya bahut
ho?

Agar
thoda,
to
sms Kyu
nhi
krte ho?
aur
agar
Zyada
ho to

SmS kyu
padh
rhe ho?

A Gal Askd His B0y Frnd 2 Spek 3 Wrds Whch ll Mak Him Fly In Air & His Feet wont Be 0n Earth

He Answrd:-
Go Hang Urself.

Fish khane k baad Sardar Pani nhi pita..

.

Socho Kyu.?

.

Bcoz

.

“Sardar ko darr tha ki Machhliya Pet me tairne Na lag jaye”!

-UNDRSTND DIS JOKE THEN LAUGH-

What do U Call An Intelligent Man in Punjab?

.

Socho..

.

Tourist!

A fat Srdr visits Dietition
Doc-Run 8km daily fr 300 days
Aftr 300 days,Srdr phoned
Im slim bt im 2400km away 4m home!

A Diplomat is a Person Who Says U hav An Open Mind Instead of Telling U dat U had a Hole in Ur Head..

Studies Has Proved dt Majority Of Studnts Suffer 4m Intense Pain Of Lower Jaw
This Z Due 2

Un Controlld,
Excessive Yawing During Lecturs

Why does Sardars always SMILE during Lightning Storms?

They think their Photo is being taken & lightening is a Flash!!

U & ME went 2a
“WISH-WELL”

I bent down 2 throw a Coin &made a Wish
U bent down a little more &fallen in2 d Well

I shoutd

It WORKS!

-THIS IS TOOOOO MUCH -

-

Why did Sardar put his radio in his refrigerator?

.

.

.

.

“He wanted to hear some cool Music”!

SARDAR-Yaar iska matlab kya hota hai, ‘I AM GOING?
FRIEND-Main jaa raha hu.
SARDAR-Saale,aise kaise jayega,answer bata ke jaa..

Tom to Hotel Manager- Come Fast, My Wife gona Jump Out of wiNdow & commit SUICIDE
MANAGER- What Can I Do?
T-IDIOT,
Window is not OpeNiNg…

Why American Names r Like
JACKSON
WILSON
MARKSON
ROBINSON
ANDERSON
DAVIDSON
JOHNSON?

So dat MOM Can rmembr WHO is WHOSE SON!

-THAT’S SARDARS SPECIAL INTELLIGENCE-

Think, Why did 18 Sardars go to a Movie?

.

.

.

.

.

.

Because below 18 was Not Allowed!

Thief1:
Lets Count
d Money We hav
Looted Today!

Thief2:
I m So Tired,
We’ll See it in d
Newspaper Tomorrow.

BaNta: Teri Biwi Ko Car Chahiye Thi, TuNe Use DiamoNd RiNg KyuN Di.?

SaNta: MaiN Nakli Car Kaha Se Lata?

-PJ-
BRUCE LEE was a great Man!
Bt after his Sister gav birth 2 a Child, he bcame an Ordinary Person!

Y?

.

.

Bcz he bcame
“MAMU-LEE”

When do girls get Full Marks,
Boys fail in Practicals?

ANSWER: Wen they both Keep d First Buttons of their
SHIRT Open in front of d External!

Banta-Mai gali se jab guzarta hu to KUTTE mujhse dar k
bhag jate he

Santa-Apne BOSS se to har koi darta he

In a Maths Exam, Sardar was Dancing instead of Writing,

Y?

Think?

Bcoz Sum1 told him dat there is Marks for evry STEP..

>Chicken ready?
…Yes Boss

>Fish Ready
…Yes Boss

>Omlet Ready
…Yes Boss

>Mutton Ready?

?

No Boss. Bakra abhi msg padh rha he

Mere BHEJE me 1 Shor ho rha h

Bina SMS k Ye DiL bor ho rha h

Kahi aisa to Nahi,
Ek Pyara Sa Dost

.

.

.

Kutte Ki Neend so raha hai

SARDAR goes 2 Shop &asks 4a Calender

Shopkeepr-
Which One do U want SIR?

SARDAR-
“A Calendr with Maximum Holidays”

Doctor To a Kid-Hav U ever had trouble with “Appendicitis”
-
Kid-Yes!
-
Doctor-When?
-
Kid-When I tried to Spell it!

>SUPER SANTA<
QUES- How can U kill a Lion?

.

.

.

.

.

SANTA-i wil drink Poison &Allow Lion to eat me!

Nind Aati Hai To Khwab ate hai..
Khwab Me Ek Ladki Ati He
Ladki K Piche Uska Baap Ata He
Fir Na to Nind Ati Hai
Na Khwab Ata He!

Galib Ne Bhari MehfiL Me Sher Mara..

Galib ne Bhari MehfiL Me Sher Mara..

Fir Kya Hua??

Are PagaL,
Sherni Vidhwa ho Gai..

Aur kya?

Santa got an SMS frm his Pregnant Wife:
“A HAPPY NEWS 4U. U BECAME A DAD”
-
Happy Santa
Forwarded Same SMS to Everyone..

What’s an adult joke?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

SaRDaR:
“Any joke which is eighteen years old”..!

A Couple @Train
Girl:My head is paining
boy kisd hr head
Girl:My neck paining
boy kisd neck
1 oldman:bhai,losemotion ka bhi ilaz karte ho?

A Couple @Train
Girl:My head is paining
boy kisd hr head
Girl:My neck paining
boy kisd neck
1 oldman:bhai,losemotion ka bhi ilaz karte ho?

Lyf s vry short so… Brk silly ruls, 4gv quickly,Lov truly, Laugh loudly nd Nvr avoid nyting dat makes U smyl..

Best traffic advertisemnt of d year :
Piture of Lord GANESHA wit a sayin
” Care 4 ur head not evry1 gts a replacemnt lik me

ImagiNe, If der Is LoNg Days f Gap B/w eNgagemeNt N Marriage Who Is Most BeNificiary?
Boy?
No

Girl?
No

It Is Mobile
CompaNies

Pledge of YUNGISTAN
IND is my natin
LOVE s our DESTINTIN
DATING is our OCUPATION
SETING s our PROFESION
wt d hel is EDUCATION…

DID U KNOW:
NOBEL PRIZE is not given for MATHS y?
BECAUSE,
ALFRED NOBELs wife ran away wit a MATHS PROFESSOR O
Funny but Fact
LAKSHMI1

Professor:If Earth Starts RotatiNg 30 Times Faster ThaN Now, Wat’ll HappeN?
Sardar:Oye Balle Balle. We’ll Get Salary

DAILY.,!

A Couple @Train
Girl:My head is paining
boy kisd hr head
Girl:My neck paining
boy kisd neck
1 oldman:bhai,losemotion ka bhi ilaz karte ho?

ImagiNe, If der Is LoNg Days f Gap B/w eNgagemeNt N Marriage Who Is Most BeNificiary?
Boy?
No

Girl?
No

It Is Mobile
CompaNies

My nyts going sleepless
My days going useless
So i askd GOD Is dis LOVE?
GOD replied”BETA,Syllabus bahut jyada hai,tujhe kuch nahi aata hai

Height of Laziness!
Thief1:Lets count d money we hv looted 2day
Thief2:I’m so tired, We wil C it in d Newspaper 2mrow:-(

Mujse Shadi Karoge?

Pura DiN Soch K BataNa!

ApNe Mummy,
Papa Se Puchh LeNa

Ki

Ye GaNa Kis Film Ka He?

Wat is 2 2?
CA: 4
Doctor: Approx4
Judge:It shuld b4
Politcn: We wil mak it4
Lawyr: We shw it4
Enggnr: Tell me, how much U want it to be!

Sardar: May I Come iN Sir.?

iNterviewer: Wait Please.,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Sardar: 75 Kg Sir.,!!

Santa ki Girlfriend Santa se:- Apni sagai Par tum Mujhe 1 “Ring” Doge Na?

Santa:- Jarur Dunga
Ye Batao LadLine ya Mob Par ..

I don’t wnt 2 say I mis u,
thogh dep insid I do,
coz I’m afrid u might c thru
&
kno hw much fear I hv f losing sm1 lik u

Heights Of ProfessioNal Respect.,

A Begger WoN 50 Lac Rs Lottery N He Took

Gold UteNsil For BeggiNg.!!

Gandhi hated Liquor his whole Lyf
bt Liquor king Vijaya Mallya bought Gandhi memoris bak2 India.

Wat a contrbution 4m pple who drink alcohl

DID U KNOW:
NOBEL PRIZE is not given for MATHS y?
BECAUSE,
ALFRED NOBELs wife ran away wit a MATHS PROFESSOR O
Funny but Fact

Falure is a
Single Pag in
a Part of Life!
Bt,
Success is a
Book of
Dictionary.!
Don’t Loose a
Full Book 4 a
Single Page!!

How To Impress Ur Kaamwali Bai?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tum Isme Bhi iNterested Ho?
Kuch To ApNa StaNdard
Rakho Yaar!!

Santa comes to
School wit
1black &1white Shoe.
Sir: GO
home& Change.
Santa: Sir,
ghar me b 1black & 1white hi hai.

Exams r like Girlfriend.
1.Too many Questions.
2.Difficult to Understand.
3.More Explanation is neded.
4.Result is always fail

Try2 undrstnd me & dont distrb me more.
Last ni8 i didnt sleep bcoz of u. So dont play wid my lyf

snta told2 Mosquito

DIN KO CHAIN NAHI
RAT KO Neend NAHI
JIYA NA LAGE KAHI
KHUDA KYA YAHI PYAR H?
KHUDA BOLE NAHI BETA YE TO GARMI KI SHURWAT HAI

Coz he fined an ambulance 4 overspeed

My New Hobby:
I M Collecting GandhiJI Photos

I need Ur Contribution 2 my Collection.

Ghar me Jitne Bhi 500,1000 ke Notes ho Bhej Dena

Kyo?

Ans-Saala 20 Saal baad bachha hua, Wo b itna sa

Wen i Opens Eyes Evryday, i Prays 2 GOD dt Evry1 shud hav a Frnd lyk U..

Why shud Only i Suffer?

An Empty POCKET !!!

I m Saawan
U r Baadal

I m Normal
U r

also NORMAL
kya yar khudpe hi shaq karte ho

Dear frnd
dont keep me in ur heart

but

keep me in ur brain

Bcoz

rehne ki jagah jitni khali khali ho rehne me utna hi mazaa aata hai..

juta leta hy to pant phat jati hy

Pent leta hy to
shirt phat jati
Or
Sb kuch sath le le to GAND PHAT JA

P*EN!S or V*AG!NA

Ans: V*AG!NA b’cos P*EN!S always stands up when he sees a V*AG!NA…. So respect the seniors….

response after SEX
GF-oh darling maza aa gaya
CALLGAL-chal fatafat nipat
PADOSAN-aate rahna
WIFE-kal kya sabzi banau

Think

Think as an engineer

Becoz boys have
Ball Bearings between their legs to reduce friction..

Banta:Aapki Behan Chod Dunga

EnjoY
WitH uR Girl FrienD

BuT
B iN LimitZ

BcoZ
AfteR 9MonthZ

NoV14
ChildrenZ DaY

RemembeR

Sardar2:
Usi Detergent Se Apni G_ND b Dho Le!!

Man: Sorry madam hm sirf Privat Property ke insurance krte hai PUBLIC PROPERTY ki nhe.

Cover Your Stump.
Before You Pump

2.Machar-Insan ko satane k liye

3.Husband & wife-Insan ko banane k liy

oh come on yar simple, dono nangi ho to current lagta hai

1) Crying In The Bathroom
Because Your Boyfriend Left U

OR

2) Making Love In The Bathroom

2% ne kaha-”Black”

97%-ne kaha Utri hui

Banta:CH00TINDER B00BIYa

LOORA Ek Ehsas H
(Mehsos kiJye)

LOORA Ek Dard H
(Bardasht KiJye)

LOORA Ek Peyas H
(Choos LiJye)

pepsodent-ratbhar dhishum dhishum

mirinda-jor Ka zatka dhirese lge

tata sky-isko lga dala to life zingalala

Dusre Lund bola-
Nhi Yaar, Film Sexy Hogi to Khade Khade dekhna padegi..

EnjoY
WitH uR Girl FrienD

BuT
B iN LimitZ

BcoZ
AfteR 9MonthZ

NoV14
ChildrenZ DaY

RemembeR

.
Pehle penty hatao to gand dikhte the,
ab ki penty me gand hatao to Penty dikhti hai

Doctar 72 ghanto k andar mujse chudwalo warna goli waste ho jayeg…

Married ladies-POLO,Mint wITH a Hole.

Just married but found not virgin-CENTRE SHOCK..

1 : Buzurgon ki kahi hui baat,

2 : Tatton pe khai hui laat,

Yar tu vohi h na

jisko 8th k exam me

Eng. k paper me

QUE. mila FILL IN THE BLANKS

or tu apni G@@nd me
ungli dal k 3 Ghante betha ra

rinku-present sir

sonu-present sir

g@@ndu

g@@ndu

g@@ndu

g@@ndu

.

.

.

butt on mat dabba pres

UR NAME?
BOY:’HOLA
TEACHER:YE KYA NAM HUA

BOY:MAIN HOLI K DIN HUA THA NA

TEACHer:THANK GOD TUM ‘LOhDI’ K DIN PAIDA Nai hua

dhoni’s “me 8 ltr pita hu aur 2 km daudta hu”
OR
sania’s “me 2 ltr piti hu aur 8 ltr deti hu

Guess?

Guess?

To 4th Bandar niche haath rak ke khada hota!

Sbne kaha dsti 1 dard h
Humne kaha dard kabul h
Sbne kaha is dard k sath ji Nhi paoge
Humne kaha tumhri MAA ka BHOSRA tum hume jina
Sikaoge

Kutto Kamino

Khuda k wastay

Lado to Nahi
Sub ka Number ayeGa .

Sardar LAAND nikal k bola:Ye dekh, apna SarDarJi
Ling…:)

3)jo nahi bola Bhosdikaa wahi karega

3.SENSEX SE DOOR Rehna

thousands of girls & buckets of beer.

wat is hell ?

when u come to know that the buckets have holes & the girls dont.

Sardar liftd his wife’s sari & pulled down her panty &said “Idhar,My Lord,”Idhar???

Ek LADY ne dekha to boli
“Hamara Desh Tarakki kaise karega?
Kaam k Aadmi to Pagal he

B=naughty G=beauty
B=chest G=breast
B=night falls G=2 big balls
B=fcuk G=scuk
B=brilliant G=pregnant

A: Because they are in Shock that a small

piece of meat can give them so much pleasure

Guess?

Guess?

To 4th Bandar niche haath rak ke khada hota!

SEXX?” LADY: “I CAN’T MY LORD, I AM A PURE VEGETARIAN.”

Lady:How can U be so sure ?

Santa:I’have done diploma in interior designing….

“SANDAAS”
Rokni Padti He !!

Sardar:

kyo.?

Chudwana hai kya?

Sardarni:

Nhi lifafe k liye gum chahiye

Banta-Are yaar kabhi to DOODH Market Se Le liya
karo!!

(“‘.) (“‘.)
(\__(<)
LL LL
AB KYA KARE?

Batao

Kya Soch Rahe Ho

Are yar

Tum Ho Na Aakhir Dost Hi Dost Ke Kaam Aata Hai

oye tera naam yaar

tu ga nd samjha tha
na
Chal koi baat nahi
hota hai

80% ladkiya shadi se pahle s ex karna chahti hai

mera sawal sirf itna hai
ki wo 80% ladkiya hai Kaha

LOORA ek ehsas hai
(mehsos kijye)

LOORA ek dard hai
(bardasht kijye)

LOORA ek peyas hai
(choos lijy

Girl-Chodne Ka Hatiyar

Boy-Ch00t?

Girl-Lun Ko Dalne Ki Jagah

Boy-Bolls?

Girl-Tu Ch00dne Aaya He Ya 5vi Paas Khelne.

or

Baki zindgi ki b maa chud gayi.

Find her
Follow her

Frend her
Flirt her

French her
Finger her

Force her
Fucck her

Forget her
FIND anothr.

Mohabat Main Paida Kia Hua Bcha

NAJAIZ Kyun H?

Tum iska adha B Nahi karte.

Husband:Ye kaha likha he ki 300 ek hi Cow se karta he.

This Is An African Way 2 Say

G@@nd Mrane Se Fursat Mile To Msg Zarur Krna

Stdnt: Itz simple!
Wen Galz wear tight fittings, neither dey r comfortable nor v r comfortable.

To Chain kholo.,

Haath andar dalo.,

Or

Bag se book nikal kar pado!

Raat bhar pee sharab to Raat kat gayi,

Subah jab hisaab lagaya to
G@@nd Fat gay

Apna 16 Rs. kilo ka doodh pilaakar
Hamara 220 Rs. kilo ka Ghee nikaal leti hai

Sexy Lady in Sexy voice:
Batao Mere underwear m kya h?
Batao?

Gal during sexx
mere muh m ungli dalo
meri aage ungli dalo
meri piche ungli dalo

Boy:
ye lunnd kya sms padhne wale k aage/piche daalu.

To Chain kholo.,

Haath andar dalo.,

Or

Bag se book nikal kar pado!

Raat bhar pee sharab to Raat kat gayi,

Raat bhar pee sharab to Raat kat gayi,

Subah jab hisaab lagaya to
G@@nd Fat gay

Apna 16 Rs. kilo ka doodh pilaakar
Hamara 220 Rs. kilo ka Ghee nikaal leti hai

Sexy Lady in Sexy voice:
Batao Mere underwear m kya h?
Batao?

Santa(wid confidence):
Elastic hi hoga,aaj-kal naadewali kaun pehnta h.

To Chain kholo.,

Haath andar dalo.,

Or

Bag se book nikal kar pado!

Raat bhar pee sharab to Raat kat gayi,

Raat bhar pee sharab to Raat kat gayi,

Subah jab hisaab lagaya to
G@@nd Fat gay

“Rab Ne Banai Jodi”

Aur iss jodi ko

R U B

karne ka maza hi kuch aur hai.

He said “Women’s breaasts come in three sizes:
PingPong,
Ding Dong
And
King Kong

Aankhon ke liye carrot ka juice..

Sehat ke liye anaar ka juice..

Aur khush rehne ke liye MERA LUND CHOOS..

Chahe tum bano Akbar
YA
Aish ban jaye Jodha
Aaj tak Aish ko sabse zyada
maine hai ch0da

Santa (wid confidence(:

Elastic hi hoga, aaj-kal naadewali kaun pehanta hai??

Teacher:Jawab do
Zero mai 1 Dalen to kya hota hai?

Girl:Mam Bhot Dard hota hai

Andar se aawaaz aai:
Abhi biwi ghar me nahin hai.

Bhikari: Maine choot nahin,roti maangi hai.

Kutto Kamino

Khuda k wastay

Lado to Nahi

Sab ka Number ayeGa .

Student – Bhenchodo Eh Kine Apni Maa Chudai Hai

) ‘( / /
c=/ )/ ) )
L_/L_/_
KAHA THA NA SMS BHEJO

RANI-Kya??
MONA-Door bell.

RANI- Isse accha to mera Paper wala hai,
Niche se hi Daal jata hai.

?

?

B’coz, it has hardware & software but

No
Underwear.For Valentine SMS-JOIN LovePlaza

CHEENI KUM – DUDH
JYADA!!!

Mom Ask Daughter, Hwz Ur SexLife ?
Daughter: Like British Airways
Mom Reads The Ad & Is Shocked, “7 Days A Week, Twice A Day, Both Ways.

Lady:It’s so romantic here
My breasts feel so warm

Man:Yeah
Coz,One is hanging in D coffee & other in D soup

dudhwala bola:to hum kya kare?
doc se checkup karwao

Agar Na Mile Koi Choot

To…

To….

Hilana Hi Behtar He.

Marna hi hai to ?

/ / I /
,c(,,)=? )
,;”, I /

Muth maro
pap nahi lagega.

reflect a man’s
size:

( ‘)
/ /
/ / 3210
. ))
( ‘)
/ /
/ / 6110
. ))

( ‘)
/ / 5110
. ))

,o 8210
. )) Hee !

PHONE NAHI,

MISS CALL NAHI,

SMS BHI NAHI.

ZORDAR KAAM

CHALU HAI KYA..
/ /I /
,c(,,)= )
,;”, I /

L

Biwi sharmatay hue:1ungli aur dalo na

Hus:Kyu siti bajani hai.

.

.

.

Arre Yeh To
LUN
Ko Fasane Ke Liye
Bichhaya Gaya JAAL hai

(?)
(.) (.) <-Product
) ( <-Problem
( Y ) <-Flavour

Avoid the problem,
Use the product
Enjoy the flavour

Agar aapne JAWAB dia to aapki HOBBY.

Nahi JAWAB dia to aapki MAJBURI

UmEr gUzAr gAi GaAnD MaRaaNe mEiN,

ShAaDi kIa kArEGa Tu mUtHaL

MuTh lAgA Ja kAr gHuSaL-KhAnE MeIn

=>10 Din Zardari

=>10 Din Sarkari

 10 Din Mahwari …

LoRaY k PiLLaR
LaGa Lo,

BooBss Ki
BaLConiEs BaNa Lo,

PeR GanD Ka KiyA
KrOge?

ChaLo hUm Se Hi Marw

Sardar:

kyo….?

Chudwana hai kya….?

Sardarni:

Nhi lifafe k liye gum chahiye..

Love: Santa-Yar Teri Bhabhi Nhi H Warna M Tujhe Chai Zarur Pilata

Banta-Are yaar kabhi to DHOODH Market Se Le liya karo!!

Santa Thori Der B()BS Choos K Rone Laga

GF:Kya Hua Janoo?

Santa:

Oey Ma Ki Yad Agai

Jab suhaagraat par biwi apne pati se kahe:

Plz condom use mat karna,
mujhe condom se maza nahi aata.
Gud Morning

Student: Tennis player.

Teacher: Good! Who is Mallika Sherawat.?

Student: Pennniiis Player.!.

jb me teri le ra ta to Kisi ne photo Khich li ye deKh

(“‘.) (“‘.)
(\\_(<)
LL LL
ab KYA KRE?

agr ap chahte ho k awam ke gand b band ho jae tu

“cycle” pe mohr lagawo

Niche Kya Apni Gaaand
Marvane Ke Liye Iska
Luund DHund rahe ho

Major:Lay haath sutt,Me tay raati ghar nai c

Husband: Aaj tak goongi hui kya?

Wife Sharmaty Hue
Nhi Jaan Kbhi Kia Nhi
Hamesha Krwaya Hy

.

Tatton Ko
” To Be Hanged Till Death

Naukarani:Bibi Jee Aap Ne To Mere Muu Ki Baat Cheen Li ..

1 coconut hathni pe gira or wo chillayi

Chuha:Maa kasam

isko pehle hi bola tha jayega to chillana mat

Wrong code
U hv kissed
Jayalalitha’s HIPS…!
Wash ur mouth & try again.

Hate Cats-Love PUSSIEES

Hate Donkeys-LoveASS

Eat Chicken-Feed COKS

Hate Dog-Enjoy Maximum in dat Position.

Tere hath me puri ki plat mere hath me muthiya ki plat.Agar me tumhari puri maru to tu mera kya marega?

DriVeR MuTtH MaR
K PaSeNaY sE
ShArBoR HoGyA

SaRdAr:jAo Ab
bEtI kO
CoLLegE cHor
AaO =P ;->

Girls look Beautiful because

Boys have
Good Imagination..

Dear sir,
maa chudao
main to chala…

Santa: Sharee.

Tchr: Gud ! Ab batao girLs kya nhi pehen skti he?

Santa: CONDOM. JOIN LovePlaza to 9870807070

Dnt buy ISPAT@10,
Buy NIRODH@10

Don’t buy GMR@30,
Buy KOHINOOR@30

Better to fuck
than getting FUCKED

pehla soch fir dasi

.

Tera name oye
Tu bund samjheya c na
Sala TEMPU.

Aaj subah mere Lund Pe
saap ne kaat liya

Dr.ne kha ki

Zehar sirf chusne se niklega

muje bacha Le mere Dost

Santa- BurrrBurrrBurr???4

UndrWr
Undr Hip,Banana Grip
Panti
Jungle River,Coton Cover
Condom
Rubber goyna,bachcha hoyna .

Santa- BurrrBurrrBurr???4

Jab suhaagraat par biwi apne pati se kahe:

Plz condom use mat karna,
mujhe condom se maza nahi aata.

Student: Tennis player.

Teacher: Good! Who is Mallika Sherawat.?

Student: Pennniiis Player.!.

A: Chhatri ko button dabakar kholna padta hain or chhokri ko button kholkar dabana padta hai..

agr ap chahte ho k awam ke gand b band ho jae tu

“cycle” pe mohr lagawo

.

Tatton Ko
” To Be Hanged Till Death

Tere hath me puri ki plat mere hath me muthiya ki plat.Agar me tumhari puri maru to tu mera kya marega?

Sardar : Hoga, Zarur hoga;
25 saalsey mera khoon jo pee rahi hai

Banta:LEKIN YE 13′ve MANZIL HE.

Santa: YE SHAGUN-APSHAGUN SOCHNE KA WAQT NAHI HE.

Why Santa is standing below d Tube Light wid an open mouth.

A.
Because Doctor has advised him :- Aaj Light Khana hain?

Pati: Ye kya kr
rhi ho?

Biwi: Shrma k,Wo Mix bana rhi Hu

neend hamari udati ho..o.o

CHADDI humari kaun dhoyega janam,jo roj bhigoti
ho.

Kyonki unhe pata hai k period absent means pregnancy.

To….

To…

Hilana Hi Behtar He.

2.Ghar me Saali to Puri Raat Diwali….
hav sex dreamy night.

Wa wa
Tumhaari girlfriend kitni bhi Shareef hogi..
Wa wa

Par

Nahati to Nangi hi Hogi

CALL GIRL: BEWAKUF, CHARGE OUTGOING PAR HI LAGTA HAI.. INCOMING PAR NAHI

Kyonki unhe pata hai k period absent means pregnancy.

To….

To…

Hilana Hi Behtar He.

2.Ghar me Saali to Puri Raat Diwali….
hav sex dreamy night.

Wa wa
Tumhaari girlfriend kitni bhi Shareef hogi..
Wa wa

Par

Nahati to Nangi hi Hogi

Agar aapne JAWAB dia to aapki HOBBY.

Nahi jawab dia to apki MAJBURi

Dad:Ye idea apni mom ko deti, to apna BAG b bach jata.!

SohaiL: 4.G and M Ungli Karna=Samasya Utpanna Krna
6. G and M Ghusna=Chamchagiri Krna
7.G and Mrna=Dushmani Nikalna
8.G and Marwana=Gulami Krna

Doctor:Roz ana,me CHU$ ke bade kar dunga

Lady:Mei apne pati ko bhi lekar aaongi uska LUN_D bhi chota he

After two days boy died why?

Because he drank expired milk.

A good friend is like a good bra.

“Pehlay Mera
Pehlay Mera..

oh come on yar simple.dono nangi ho to current lagta ha ;-(

Santa: Mujhe shadi mein BMW mili hai.
Banta: Par tumhare pass to koi car nahi hai.
Santa: abye ghadhe,
BMW ka matlab
“Bahut Motti Wife”.

Wife-Hai Ram, Ramlal Mar Gaya ?

Think as an engineer
Ans: B’coz boys have
Ball Bearings in between their legs to reduce friction.

Teacher:ZERO me EK daale to kya hota hai

Ladki chup rahi

Teacher:Batao,ZERO me EK daale to kya hota hai

Ladki:sir,bahut dard hota h

Dusre Lund bola-
Nhi Yaar, Film Sexy Hogi to Khade Khade dekhna padegi.

Santa Banta Swimming pul Me Naha Rahe The
Santa Dubne Laga To Banta Ka Lund Pakad Liya
B: Bhosdi ke sikhle Ladki Ke 7 Hota To Dub Gaya Hota

-Boy:- arre nahi ! yahi to cover hai,
gift to mere paas hai.

P=Please
E=Enter
P=Penis
S=Slowly
I=Inside

Aha’- Ye dil mange more!

Murgi Ne Santa K
Zor Se Thappad Marte Hue
Kaha:Sale Tujhe Dena Pade To Ehsaas Ho

-Boy:- arre nahi ! yahi to cover hai,
gift to mere paas hai.

Murgi Ne Santa K
Zor Se Thappad Marte Hue
Kaha:Sale Tujhe Dena Pade To Ehsaas Ho

So gave an ad,
askin fo
suggestions.

A Sardar replied-
I’ve 5 sons..
cn i try 1ce…

Chemist: Hai na, kitne doon?

Mallika: Abhi nahi, koi use lene aaye to mujhe call karna??

Koi Khade-Khde Marta He

Koi Deere-Deere Marta He

Koi Jldi-Jldi Mrta He

Tb Jakr Scooter Start Hota he

3.SENSEX SE DOOR Rehna

FAY F-CKING A GIRL IN A CAR.
A Policeman comes?What r u doing.
FAY?Dikhai nahi deta kya.
Pman?Mera number kab aayega.
FY?Is ladki k baad.

0 yr man: Dr meri age mein sex style kya hona chahiye?Dr: Dogy style.Man: Apka mtlab piche se…?Dr: Nahi sirf sungh aur chat

ap Pani-Puri ka thela laga lo yaar.

Biwi khusi ke k mare sare kpde utar k tang uper karke let gyi.

Sardar-kyo ghr me FLOWERPOT nahi he

Tailor-Jara Jhuko

Grl-Ab?

Talor-Aur Jhuko

Grl-Ab?

Talor-Phnogi to dikhegi na

Condom says 2 whisper-Every month u stop my business for 1 week
Whisper replies-Ah,if u make mistake 1 time, i lose my business for 9 months

man on his right says- JOHNEY WALKER single.

Man on his left says- PETER SCOTCH single.

Sardar- Dilraj singh, married.

Sardr:Small, Medium,Large,Extra Large,Baap Re Baap
& Hey Bhagwan

Koun si du?

Gf:Use kiye hue COND0M ki tokri le ayi or boli isme se jo tere ho dhund lo

Mom 2 kid:Bacche angutha chuste hai to unka pet phul jata hai.

1 din usne pregnent lady ko dekha aur bola: Muje pata he aapne kya chusa tha

fir usne nanga dance kia to kisi ne taali nahi bajai

q

Q k
taali 1 haath se nahi bajati..! )

Ab Meri CH-T M Ungli Dalo

Boy:To Saali,
Ye L-ND Kya Tere Baap Ki GAND M Dalu..??

Socho

Socho

Aur
Socho

Bcoz

It Covers “LuuUN & GOTI” ;-

Nothing Is Impossible In Sales..

Than

Ask Him

2 Try & Wear A Condom After SEX

aur

?
tumhare JEB mein sirf 10 rupiye ho.

GIRL:Apni Ungli Meri CHUUT Me Dalo, 2nd bhi dalo,Ab pura Hath Dalo,2nd bhi Dal do.Ab TALI Bajao. B:Nhi Bajti. G:Dekha meri CHUUT kitni TIT h

“Yara Teri Yari Pe Muje Shak Nahi Tha”

“Lekin Sabne Teri Maari Kya Mera koi Haq Nhi Tha.

Man: Kamini,daily u r injecting me where I dont hv hole
Im putting in ur hole & u say it HURTS

.

.

.

sindoor se pata chalta hai ki
IS PLOT KA BHOOMI-PUJAN HUVA HAI

Posted 01-January-2009:

Dulhe ne Dulhan ki ankh ko chuma

Wif-Ye kya

Hus-Ankh Zindgi ki kitab he

Wf-Bhosdike,
Niche choot m aag lagi he or tu kitab me ghus

Teachar-Kabir Ka Doha Sunao.

Student-

Kabir Sala M@d@rch0d Doha Diyo Banaye.
Khud To G@adu Khisaki Liyo
Humar Diyo Fasaye.

_/ (_
(. )( .) play room
) . (

( .) .)
) .)store
( /

(. )( .)
) . (
( v )guest room

ye usi jheel ka pani he

PENTY ka elastic todne ki
Par dekho unki bewafai
Woh NANGI hi chali aai

Door gaon mein ek basti thi,Wahan ki ladkiyan bahut sasti thi,Unki ga#d mein itni masti thi,Jitna dalo utna hasti thi.,But why r u smilig?

To khada karke kya calender tangega

Girl:would u be happy,when u will have to smell the flower after covering it with polythene?

Girl: Tum ladke kisi b ladki me sabse pehle kya dekhte ho?

Boy: Ye to depend karta he ki ladki aa rahi he ya ja rahi he!!

Find her
Follow her

Frend her
Flirt her

French her
Finger her

Force her
Fucck her

Forget her
FIND anothr.

Ma:tu jb achchi ladki banegi to tuje b 1 milega.

Ldki:Aur buri bani toh?

Ma:To bahut sare milenge!

Or uske under 1s sexy ladki phir.,

Hutch
Hutch

Wat an Idea sirji..!

.

.

K
.

.
Kash

Us Din

Main Jaldi Sojata

wife:aapke 2 dost aaye the mujhe kela khila kar
chilka yahi chod gaye

BIWI is crying her heart out

MIYA:
For God’s sake!
Stop crying!
WE ARE STILL COUSINS!

Jin ke pas hai woh hath mein lekar hilate hai,

Jin ke paas nahi hai who ungli daal kar hilate hai.

Who kya hai?

“TOOTH BRUSH!

And

Fucckkng Her IN DOGGI

Kya majburi rahi jo wo
chale gaye,

wajah to batate to hum
intezar kr lete

To khada karke kya calender tangega

Padosan Kaisi Ho?

Sher Ka Pinjra Rs.50 Me

Sher Ka Pinjra Rs.50 Me

Logo Ne Paas Se Dekha To
UNDERWEAR Bech Raha Tha!!

Women:Dr.sahab mujhe thode din bacha nhi chahiye…
Dr:YE COND0M LE LO… Women:Ye pani k sath lu,ya dudh k saath…
Dr:Keley ke sath!!!

wife:remove my bra,
sardar: ok

wife:remove my pantee
sardar: ok

wife: “NEVER WEAR MY DRESS AGAIN

Uth Gayi Meri Choti Talwar

Us Talwar Se Kiya Jub Mene Var

To Usme Se Nikli Aisi Dhar
Jisse Bana Apna PARIVAAR..

jin sahab ko milay g@nd main dal lena.

Pthan: O Yaara Uska Qamez
G@*nd Me Ghusa Hua Tha Maine Bahar Nikala,

Use Bura Laga To Maine Wapis Dal Diya.

SEX karte samay agar CONDOM na mile to M-SEAL istamal karen.
‘Kyon ki, Ek tapakti boond aapki kismat badal sakti hai’

Wife:MERI bahen ki hai

Sardar:KAMAL hai,pehney huway to kabhi nahi dekhi

Dhoni:Dad I want2mary Sania.

Dad:Y?

Dhoni:Dr.Has advisd me2drink 5 Litres milk daily.

Dad:Stupid u marry Rakhi Savant V both can dr

Boy:ROAD ko kya fark padta he,Ghista to tyre hi he

night1
(_._)

night2
(_o_)

night3
(_0_)

n ight4
(__((O))__)

10Rs.ME
CHAACHI ki CHAT LO .

Santa- Me help line use karonga- PHONE A FRIEND

The boy replies

“Come behind the pyramid,
I shall make you a mummy..”

“Khamosh Ho
Jao Nahi To Khara
Kr Do Gi.”
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

All The Boyz
Shouted:

“Pehlay Mera
Pehlay Mera”

GoLdEn WoRdS
AgAr TuM JiSe PaSaNd KrTe Ho UsSe
Na Pa SkO Tu…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

‘Jaa Ke Kahin GaanD Marao’ ;->

B( . )( . )NDI
KE
LADDOO..

2.Machar-Insan ko satane k liye

3.Husband & wife-Insan ko banane k liy

“Rab Ne Banai Jodi”

Aur iss jodi ko

R U B

karne ka maza hi kuch aur hai.

He said “Women’s breaasts come in three sizes:

PingPong,

Ding Dong

And

King Kong

Aankhon ke liye carrot ka juice..

Sehat ke liye anaar ka juice..

Aur khush rehne ke liye MERA LUND CHOOS..

Socho…

Socho…

Socho…

Kyoki…

Unke Paas Gotiya Nhi Hoti Na

Ladko ki tarah khujane ko

Humesa Tere LIPS Pe Rehta

Girl-Achha Hua Nhi He Warna Har Dusre Din Kisi

Aur K LUND Par Chipka Hota.

Chahe tum bano Akbar

YA

Aish ban jaye Jodha

Aaj tak Aish ko sabse zyada

maine hai ch0da

Batao mere underwear me kya h

Santa (wid confidence(:

Elastic hi hoga, aaj-kal naadewali kaun pehanta hai??

Girl:Chup rahi

Teacher:Jawab do

Zero mai 1 Dalen to kya hota hai?

Girl:Mam Bhot Dard hota hai

Ladki:Andha Ho Gaya He Dikhai Nahi Deta

Ladka:Kya Hua Sahi Jagah Pe Nahi Lagi Kya?

Saali: jiju me Taara.

Admi: ab kahe ki Taara jb Ghus gaya saara.

SON:aap bohat kanjus ho mom to 50 deti he jab wo driver k sath soti h

Andar se aawaaz aai:

Abhi biwi ghar me nahin hai.

Bhikari: Maine choot nahin,roti maangi hai.

Man:Padosi gujar gaya hai, afsos karne jana hai.. Join LovePlaza

Dulhan Ne Paise Dekh Kar Pucha

Kitne Log Hai?

Sardar:oye,Expiry date on the condom is 10/2009

Woh chillaa chillaa k keh rehi thi

Kutto Kamino

Khuda k wastay

Lado to Nahi

Sab ka Number ayeGa .

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Little Boy:

Miss, Istemal ke waqt dono ki taange kholni padti hai..!

Wife- Do you want anything from USA?

Husband- An American girl.

Wife returns.

Husband- Where is my gift?

Wife- Just wait for 9 months.

Chaho To Hamko Bhula Dena

Hamari Yad Aaye To Kabhi Rona Nhi

.

.

.

.

.

Gaand Me Ungli Dalke Hila dna:)

Student – Bhenchodo Eh Kine Apni Maa Chudai Hai

<hr>

Sms Bhej Warna-

) ‘ (

/ ) )c=====L_/_!

) ‘( / /

c=/ )/ ) )

L_/L_/_

KAHA THA NA SMS BHEJO

RANI-Kya??

MONA-Door bell.

RANI- Isse accha to mera Paper wala hai,

Niche se hi Daal jata hai.

Why?

?

?

B’coz, it has hardware & software but

No

Underwear.For Valentine SMS-JOIN LovePlaza

Lun Kata Hua He

Gand Fati Hui He

Agar Tu Zinda He To MissCall Kar Jaldi

To Cheeni Kum Starring

Mallika Sherawat And

Rakhi Sawant?

CHEENI KUM – DUDH

JYADA!!!

Kela lo

Tori lo

Muli lo

Ghia lo

Kaddu lo

Bhindi lo

Baigan lo

Khira lo

Kakri lo

Bhai shahab apki gand

hai jo marji lo..

2.Kharab nhi hota

3.Har umar k Mard ki pasand

4.Dil-kash packing me

5.Ek k 7 dusra free.

or tume chhoti munni gift dekar jayegi.

Beta:Abbu chodu mat banao,hospital jao ammi ki dlivery hone wali h

get goal

Punch

BOOBS

fuckd

HOLE

kis

LIP

prick HIP

Over d

bed

make

her lay

Let us

celbrte

PENIS DAY

Fwd 2 boys

Lund utha k jiyo

Jawab:

Kali Ghas Ka Zoond,Uske Beech Ek Lambi Si Soond, UsmeSe Tapakti 2 Boond Ab Aage Ka Jawab Khud Hi Dhoond!G.M

<hr>

Eng Lady to Punjabi Lady:

“What Is Your DaiLy Routine?

Mom Ask Daughter, Hwz Ur SexLife ?

Daughter: Like British Airways

Mom Reads The Ad & Is Shocked, “7 Days A Week, Twice A Day, Both Ways.

Lady:It’s so romantic here

My breasts feel so warm

Man:Yeah

Coz,One is hanging in D coffee & other in D soup

dudhwala bola:to hum kya kare?

doc se checkup karwao

<hr>

Hilane Se Hilna Behtar He

Agar Na Mile Koi Choot

To…

To….

Hilana Hi Behtar He.

“GOODS DELIVERD ONCE WIL NOT B TAKEN BAK”

>Boy gav a Note to Girls Dad “CONDITION NOT VALID IF SEAL IS BROKN”

?

?

?

?

?

ANSWER-
Making a Woman Pregnant inside a Nano

Sardarni [Sharmake]:Sardarji,Tussi V Khao Naa..

SeX krte Samay 2mhari BV kesi Aawaz nikalti he?
A. YesSs
B. Aaahh
C. Oohh
D. Uuhhii MaaAa

SARDAR- I want 2 CalL A Frnd.

Principl-Can U Teach
Zoology
Biology
Physiology

Girl-No I Can Teach Only
Choos-loji
Daal-loji
Nikal-loji

.

Ur Work Succeded

Ur Perfomance is Xcellnt

Very Good Yaar

Fantastic!

Superb

“MY DOG IS PREGNANT”

BANTA- Saturday Half day
So, Half Chaddi

SANTA- Sundy ko tere Ghar kabhi nai Aaunga

Utha utha k kro

Thok thok k kro

Sase rok k kro

Tange utha k kro

Jitna b kro halka mehsus kro

Kya

BABA RAMDEV KA YOGA

Par Sach To Ye H

Sub Ki Maar Gaya Sardar!

On Engagmnt,Girls Dad gav a Note 2Boy
“GOODS DELIVERD ONCE WIL NOT B TAKEN BAK”
>Boy gav a Note 2Girls Dad “CONDITION NOT VALID IF SEAL IS BROKN”

SECRATORY: Good Morning Sir

PERSONAL SECRATORY: Oh My Goddd..
Its Morning Sirrr

Jawani tere LUND pe kuch iss tarah ayi..

Kutte ki GAAND b tujhe CHUT Nazar ayi..

HUSBAND: Bhookh mitane k liye to roti nahi,

aur tujhe CHUUUT sukhane k liye DOUBLE ROTI chahiye??

There r 2 Things Men Really Want W0men To D0 In A Hurry…

Dress
&
Undress!!

Wife &Husbnd returnd 4m HONEYMOON
HUSB: Hw did U Njoy d Whole Week?
WIFE: d Whole Week has made My Hole Weak!

Tere Baap Ki..

Teri Bahen Ki..

Tere Bhai Ki..

Tere Pure Khandan Ki

JAAN HAI TU PAAGAL…
Apna Khayal Rakh!

1.Asthmatic
ah Aah

2.Obedient
Yes Oh

3.Greedy
More Gimme more

4.Religious
Oh! My God

Million pple have AIDS & no one wants wear a condom.!

A: Dono LUND Pr Hi ChadTe He

Kyu Sahi Kaha Na?

Ab Lawde Mai Tujhe Kya Khu
>CONDOM Ya GANDU !!

PENIS At Differnt Ages..

>15-18 Pehla Nasha

>18-3O Dhoom Machale

>3O-4O Kabi Khusi Kabi Gam

>41-55 Kal Ho Na Ho

>6O Papu Cant Dance Sala!

Own Wife is CHOCLATE Can Eat AnyTym

Bt Othrs Wife is ICECREAM Shud Eat Immediatly

BOY-MERA LUND…?

||
||
||
||
||
||

Ye Danda he

Ghused lo Isse GAAAND me Apni.
Ek to SMS Nahi krte Aur Gift C

Ans: Fuck Ur Laws of Gravity,
I’m going Uppppp..

Ans:An Apple!

Confused!

I knew u wuld be!
I alwys had a doubt on U.
Nw I m Sure.

Bas, Aise hi
Daba Daba k

Dr-Dnt worry Jst take off all ur clothes & lie down.

Par Ham Kete Hain K
>CH00T-KHULE
Na Hote To Hr RAAT
Ka Koi Maja Na Hota

Chaho to Hmko bhula dena

Hmari Yaad Aaye to kabhi Rona Nhi

Bas GAAND
mai Ungli
dalke hila
dena

.

.

.

.

Gud-Gudi krta raha

NEHA: Aapko Kya Taklif Hai

Man: Santre Aapke Dab Rahe Hai, Juice Mera Niklta Hai

NEHA: All MEN hv Double Standrds:

Hate Cats-Luv PUSSIEES

Hate Donkys-Luv ASS

Eat Chicken-Feed COKS

Hate Dog-Njoy Maximum in Doggy Style

MAA- Kaho beti

NEHA- Maa, Mujhe CHUT ReCharge krni he

MA- Na Beti, thode din Ruk ja LifeTime kr Lena

-GAAAND CARE SOCITY DWARA JANHIT ME JAARI-

But

He Offers Him Biscuit
Santa:R U Mad
Banta:Yaar 1Bar Pata Chal Jaye Iska Mooh Kidhar Hai
Phir
Iski GAND Marunga

?

?

Socho..

Socho..

Bcoz It Covers
‘LUND & GOTI’..

Wen U Dont Kno Whethr 2LuV Or Hate,
Wen U r in a Confusd State, Dont Fight &
Dont Debate,
Just Sit Alone &MASTURBATE!

MAA: Kuch Nahi Hai

>Turant Papa Bole:-Dekha Beta Teri Maa K Liye Ye Bhi Kuch Nahi Hai

Kissing At top Holding at Middle
Fire At bottom..

U kno d Ans?

?

?

CIGGERATE

Bt I like d way u thinking

70Yr OLD MAN:DR,Meri AGE me Sex Style Kya honi Chaiye?

DR:DOGGY Style

OLDMAN:Apka Matlab Piche se dalu

DR:NAHI MADARCHOD
Sirf
SOONGH Aur CHAAT

>KAHANI JHULTE BOOBS KI

>WO PEHLI CHUDAI YAAD ATI HAI

>KAHANI CHOTE LUND KI

>PYASI KUNWARI VIDHWA

>BIWI SE RAPE KAISE KRU

Laal hai

Mulaym hai

Chikni hai

Raseeli b he

Chuchi Mast hai

LAWDE tera LUND Khada krwana tha
Teri GrlFrnd ne kha tha

Bcoz
Mother teaches son how 2Wear Underwear for4yrs

Bt wife,
Teaches 2remov in just 4seconds

JUDGE- Aapko Kab Aaisa Laga K Aapka RAPE Hua Hai ?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

NEHA:-Jab Ye 1000Rs. K Note Duplicate Nikla..

.

.

.

.

.

Jija: 1500 Le Le Par Abhi De De..

1. Hasina K Gaand Me Pasina

2. Ghar Me Sali To Puri Raat Diwali

3. Utar K Pannty, So Gai Aunty

Sum gls lead &
sum gls follow

Sum bring joy &
sum bring sorrow

But,d best ones just blow,suck &swallow

Jise Koyal Samja Bhenchod Wai Kauwa Nikla

Dost K Nam Pr Bhdwa Madrchod Nikla

Jo Rokte the Hame Chodne Se

Usi Chodu Lawde k Jeb se Condom Nikla

(. ( (. (
..

( .( ( .(
..

(. ( (. (
..

( .( ( .(
..

(. ( (. (
..

Kya dekhra be Lawde
Tera dimag to gya

WIFE: Madarchod, Meri CHUT me kya teri Maa Lori ga rhi he jo bina Chode tuje nind aa jygi!!

I Luv U?
No
That was great?
Not again!
I Luv it?
Nahi Yaar

Jawab Hai:
Meri BRA PANTY Kaha Hai

SIR: Wo Kaun si Chiz hai Jo Tumne Suni pr dekhi nai
NEHA:-’Behen ka Lawda’

BOY: Aur Mai Chand Pe Chadhne Wala Pehla Insan

Who wants to KISS ME?
Tell@9021057513

Woman:I xpectd dis ========>
atleast dis ====>
bt got dis =>

MAN:I xpectd dis ()
atmost dis ( (
bt wat is dis
( (

Srdar ne muskrate hue apni pant utari

OR

BED PE POTTY KR DI

Banta- Farq Ka To Pta
Nhi Albatta Agr Dono Me Tail
Na Dalo To Gair Phansta Hai

Premi :
Chalo Achha Hua…
Ab CONDOM k Bina Bhi Kar Sakte Hai.

Ye Mohabt Hai Koi CHUT LUND KA KHEL Nai

Jo Aaj Hans K khela Aur Kal Ro K Bhula De

Tune Bataya Nahi

Nahi Manta?

Abey Hai

Proof Karu Kya?
Abe Underwear Utar K Dekh, Soond Bahar Hogi

Morning 2 EGGS with MILK

Evening 2 PEGS with Chips

&

Night 2 LEGS with LIPS

ENJOY LIFE wit My TIPS

Kismat Badle Na Badle..
GAAAND To Dhul Jayegi..

Sardar’s Wife@Nyt
Dhoom Machale
Dhoom Machale
Dhoom Dhoom
SARDAR:-Bhut Machali Dhoom
Ab Bistar Bichale GAAAND Ghumale
Ab krge Dishum-Dishum

But my sms r like Man’s SPERMS which comes 3-4 time in a day.