Funny VEG JOKES 1

>MAALIK: Ramu,Iss Saal Tum 4 Baar Apne Dada Ke Marne Ki Chhutttiya Le Chuke Ho.!
>RAMU: Maalik, Iss Baar Meri Dadi Ki Shaadi He

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DOCTOR To a KID:
Have u ever had trouble wit
“Appendicitis”.?

Kid:
Yes!

DOCTOR:
When..?

Kid:
“When I tried to spell it”

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Teacher to Santa: Where Is Ur house?

SANTA: In Maharshtra

TEACHR: Can U Spell it?

SANTA: I Think My House is in GOA
. . . A 992 i
n0279q biquT2
2m2 pni992
.2iHT 9>IiI

{Use Mirror to read} dnt erase!

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Wife: Plz get 1 kg Sugar Urgntly 4m Shop,
I Need 2make Tea

HUSBAND: Whats d Need?
Ur LIPS r Sweet!

Wife:For U its OK,
Bt Wt if Ur Frns Come?

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Welcome to BHEJA_FRY Marriage Beuro
>Riste k lie 1 Dabaye
>Mangni k liye 2
>Shadi k liye 3
>Aur Dusri Shadi k liye Pehli wali ka gala dabaye

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Height of
BAD-LUCK
A Vegetrian Eat CHICKEN 4 1st Tym in his Lyf &

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dies Coz of
BIRD-FLU

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-PJ-
4 Sardar purchsed Taxi but did not find Passenger. Why?
While Searching fr Passanger,
All Sardars used 2 Sit in Taxi itself

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NAUKRANI:
Malkinji, Bahr 2 Aurat Apki Saas ko Gaaliya de rhi h
Jaldi bahr Aao
MALKIN:2 Aurto k Muh ki Gaaliya kam ho gyi kya jo muje bula rhi ho

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MALLIKA at Airport
BHIKARI: Behnji,
1 Rupiya dedo

>Malika Gave Him 1000Rs

SECRETORY:
Y U Gave Him 1000 Rs?

MALLIKA:Pehli Bar Kisine Behen Kha

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Zindgi kitni Pyari hogi

Jab

Aap hoge

Ham Hoge

aur

Hamare

Chote-Chote

Pyare Pyare

Khubsurat se

Shararti se

SmS hoge

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Ek Ladki Khadi Thi
>Na Wo SmS Kar Rahi Thi
>Na Call Kar Rahi Thi
Fir Bhi Uska BALANCE Ja Raha Tha

Batao KAISE?

1 Pair Par Kadi Thi Na..

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Lower-KG BOY on Phone:-My Son has a Bad Cold & Would Not b able to Come to School Today
TEACHER:-Who is this?
BOY:-This is My Father Speaking…

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R U Fluent In English?
Read It Fast…

Upper Roller Lower Roller
Roller Lower Roller Upper

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Sweetst Excuse:

A Kid gets 0 in a Paper

Angry Father says Wt is this?

Kid replies: Teacher k paas STAR khatam ho gye,
to MOON de diya..

SANTA-Tere Ghar
Me ‘LATRIN’ Bni He Kya?

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BANTA-Bani Hai
or Tere Ghar Me
SANTA-Mere Ghar To
DAAL-CHAWAL
Bana Hai..

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Om Sai RAM

Wahe GURU

Jai Shri KRISHNA

Jai MATA Di

Dar Mat

5-10 Logo ko
Forwrd Nhi Krna h

Khud hi Jap le PAAPI

Paap kam ho jyge

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When Sadness fills Ur Heart,
When Tears flow in Ur Eyes,
Remember 3 Things
1. I’m with U
2. U have Money
3. Bar is Open, Lets go

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NEW Budget of 2010
{Govt.Imposes Havy Tax}
1.Flirtring-5%
2.Dating-10%
3.Hugging-20%
4.Kissing-35%
Tum tension mat lo.GHOORNA abhi b Free

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This is Very Dangerous Msg
So, dnt alow
Childrns,
Old Pepl,
Heart Patients,
Pregnant Ladies
2 Read it

U r BEAUTIFUL

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HUSBAND: Kya Tum ne Muje KUTTA kaha?
>No Answr

Husbnd asks again
>No Answr

Thn he again askd
>WIFE: Nahi kaha..
Plz ab Bhokna band karo…!!!

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OM PURI is Kidnappd by Taliban. NSG launches an Operatn to Save him.
Guess, Wats d Operatn b Calld?

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Sev-PURI

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Des
Ka
Bacha-Bacha
Bigad
Rha
He.
BhaiBhai
Lad
Rhe
He.
Ldka
Zabrdsti
Ldki
Ko
Kiss
Kr
Rha
He.
Itna
Kuch
Ho
Rha
He
Aur
Tu
SMS
Pad
Rha
H

Ab
Has mat

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BRITISH: Why U Indians r in different Colors.?
Look Us, We all r White.
SANTA: Horses r in diferent Colour,
But Donkeys r all d Same.

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Which Is d ThiNNest Book iN The World?
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Wt MeN KNow Abt WomeN

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Santa:Main tere 64 k 64 Daant Tod Dunga

1 Admi bola:Daant to 32 Hote He

Santa:Mujhe Pata tha Tu bich me bolega
Tere bhi Gin liye the.!!

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2Pyaj
3Lahsun
5gm Jeera
3Kali Mirch
2Spoon Salt
4Spoon Oil
1Cup Watr
Hara Dhaniya

Pata he Hum Kya bana rhe he?

Apko ULLU
Wo b
SWAD-ANUSAR

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Wo Geyser ka Pani
Wo Shampo ki Scnt
Wo Soap ki Khusbu Wo Mehkta Deo,
Wo Soft Towel,
Wo dhule Kapde..
Jane do..
Tum Kya Jano Roj Nahne ka Mazaa..

Things to Remember in Life.. “Love Ur Frds, Not their Sisters” . . .

And

“Love Ur Sister, Not their Friends”…

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Son: PAPA, Aaj me Bus k piche daud k ghar aya, jis se mene 3Rs bachaye
SARDAR: Oye kr diti na Sardaro wali baat. Auto k piche ata to 30Rs bachte

TTE of Train fines Girls widout Ticket
>Girl in Sari fined Rs60
>In Mini Skirt-40
>In Shorts-20
>1Girl fined Rs0

Y?

DIRTY MIND She hd TICKET

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DOCTR:Apka aur apki Biwi ka Blood Grp Ek hi hai?
PATI:Hoga hi; 25 Saal se mera Khoon jo pee rahi hai

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A Boy proposed his GirlFrnd in New Style:

Tu Pudiney ki Chattni,
Mai Paneer tikka..

Ban Ja Meri Rakhi Sawant aur Mai tera Mikka..

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Pappu went 2 a Shop & Said-
Black Colour ka bulb do

Shopkeeper asked-
Kaha lagana hE?

Pappu-
DopAhar ko andhera kar k sona he.

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Sardr Caught
His Wife In An Affair.
He Decided to KiLL Her & Himself.
HE Puts GUN On HIs Head,
Luks At HIs Wife & Says-DONT Laugh,
U R NEXT.

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Gana sunoge

O
OO
OOO
OOOO
OOOOO
OOOOOO
OOOOOOO
OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOO
Huzuur
13 13 13
13 13 13 13
13 13 13 13 13
Suroor

Fokut me to aisa hi milega

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Santa ki Wife ka
Rang Kala tha
Ek Din Red Saree
Pehan K
pucha: Me Kaisi
Dikh Rahi Hu?

Snta:Jaise Kajal Ki Factory Me Aag Lag Gayi Ho !!

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Gandhiji had 3MONKEY

>1st Died
>2nd went Africa fr Job
>3rd is Readng

>NEWSPAPER

Kya Yaar tu Hamesa khud ko MONKEY Kyu samajta he?

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A little boy asked his Father:-
Daddy, How much does it Cost to get Married?
I don’t know;
Son, I’m still paying

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A little boy asked his Father:-
“Daddy, How much does it Cost to get Married?

Teacher-Tumne ‘MY DOG’ pr jo Essay likha hai,
Wo tumare Bhai k Essay se bilkul milta hai!
RAJ-Sis, Maine b usi Dog pr Essay likha h

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God ne Apko
BHEJA to
BHEJA Lekin
BHEJA to aisa BHEJA ki
BHEJE me
BHEJA hi nai
BHEJA

Ye kisi ne muje BHEJA isliye maine apka kr dia BHEJA_FRY

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Wn I Cry,No1 Sees My Tears
Wn I m Woried,No1 Sees My Pain
Wn I m Happy,No1 Sees My Smile
Bt 1Ladki k sath ghum lo to sali sari Dunya dekh leti h

Girl’s Father 2
Son-in-Law:Do U drink?
Son-in-Law:1st tell Me whethr it is a QUESTION or An INVITATION!

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Jb se hai dekha tumhe neend nai aati mujhe, Jb b yad ati hai tumari dil se ek Awaz he Aati

JAL TU JALAL TU AAI BALA KO TAL TU

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Apki Ankhe Jheel se,Ji Chata hai inme

>
> >
>
>>
>
>
Maachliya chod du

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Man Kills Mad-Dog 2Save Lady
Newspapr:INDIAN SAVS LADY
Man-I’m Nt Indian
NewsP:FORNER SAVS LADY
Man-Im Pakstani
NewP:TERRORIST ATACKS LOCAL DOG

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Kya Aap Panchvi Pass Se Tez Ho ?

To Batao..

AGAR RAM SITA HAI,
TO
RAM KYA HAI ?

Socho Socho..

..

..

Simple Yaar,

‘DARZI’

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Kal Raat Kitab Mujhe dekhti rahi,
Neend Mujhe Apni or Ghasitti rhi,
Neend ka Jhoka Mera Mann Moh gaya,
Aur 1Raat fir ye Ladka bina Padhe so gaya

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History teacher asked
Santa:-Name Kalidas’s Brother Who was a Shoemaker.

Santa:- Adidas!!

PAGAL- Dr. Mai Khud ko Bhagwan Samjhne Laga hu
DOCTOR: Ye Problem kabse hai?
PAGAL: Jabse Maine ye Duniya banai hai

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Lo Meri GIRL-FRND ka Photo dekho..

Thoda aur aage

Thoda aur

Nahi dikhi?
Kamine, BHABHI ki Nazar se dekhta to Zarur dikhti!

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Y do Sardar Study in front of Mirror?

Bcoz
1.Revision b Sath me ho jata he
2.Wo Apne Upar Nazar rakh skta he
3.Usse Combine Study ho jati he

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During Exam, How GIRLS Manage Time:
1.Counting No. of Boyz.
2.Watching Boy Superviser.
3.Feeling Bad 4 Wasting Last Nite.

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This Might Sound Stupid Infact Its True:

N0 Matter Hw C0stly Ur Undrwear Is,
U Can Nevr Wear It 0utside

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World Class Level PJ..

What is Opposite of IIT?

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“U U COFFEE”

Can U beat this PJ

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Next Year There Will Be Pakistan Premier League
Same As IPL But Only One Difference Wil Be..

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Cheer Girls Will Be Wearing Burkha..

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2 Cockroaches wer admited side by side in a Hospital

1st Cockroach:Wats Up dude,BAYGON Spray mara?
2nd Cockroach: Na yaar,BATA CHAPPAL se mara!

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Ha..
Ha Ha..
Ha Ha Ha..

He He He He..
Hooo..
Ha Ha Ha Ha..

Nothing Yaar,
I Suddnly Rememberd Ur Face
Oh My God
Wt a Funnny Creation..

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Funny Names of Shops & Stores

1.MAHATMA GANDHI HAIR DRESSERS

2.SRI GOMATESHWARA TEXTILE

3.GOVINDA LOTTERIES

4.VYKUNTA CLINIC

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British: Do U knw Swiming?
SARDAR: No
B: Pig is better den U, It Swims
S: D U knw Swiming?
B:Yes
S: Thn, Wats d diff btwn U & Pig
>SINGH IS KING

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Jab tum Haste ho to lgta he
Insaan kabi Bandar tha

Plz Naaraz mat hona Dost

Kyuki

Jab Tum Naaraz hote ho
to lgta hai Insan Aaj b Bandar he

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Tired Of Many Greetings dat Comes Like
Good MOrning
Good Noon
GoodEvening
Good Night
&So On
Now Here’s My Simple Fresh Line
Potty ki kya?

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A Woodcutter was returning from d Woods. Suddenly all Girls Startd following him.

Y

Y

Y

Y

Y

Ans-
“AXE” Effect

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Ye hai RAMDEV Baba ka

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“Thumbs Exercise”

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Do U know d Meanig of these things-
1 Girlfriend
2 Lover
3 Wife
4 X Girlfriend
Very simple-
1 Prepaid
2 Postpaid
3 Lifetime
4 Missed Call

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1 Vakeel Sardar Road pe Potty krte Time Police ne pakad liya

Jab usey le jaane lage to Sardar bola:
“SABOOT TO UTHA LO nahi to Case haar jaoge”

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TEACHER: Bada ho
k kya banega?
SARDAR:Pilot
TCHR:Kyu?
SARDR:Upar Accidnt
ka Khatra nahi
hota Sir!

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Once, there was a Mirror dat Killed Any1 Who lied

FRNCH: I Think, I dont Smoke-DIED

AMERICAN:
I Think,
I LuV My Wife-DIED

SARDAR:I Think-DIED

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Arz Hai-
Dil Diya Tha Jisko Diwani Samajh Kar

Kha Gyi Wo Biryani Samajh Kar

Ek Katra B Na Chhoda Khoon Ka

Pi Gyi Usko B Nimbu Pani Samajh Kar

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GirlFrnd aur Police me kya fark hota he

Socho

Aur Socho

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Nai Pata

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Dono hi Paise kha kr Chod dete he

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Jab AP Hame Bhul Jayge
To
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
31
32
Gino Mat
Pure Dant Tod Diye Jayge

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Pappu while filling up a form:
What shud I write against Mother tongue?

Santa: Very long…!

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An Ass,
Behind another Ass,
Behind dat I &Behind Me d Whole Nation!

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Sardar Teaching his Childrens d Meaning of
“ASSASSINATION”

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Ek Pagalkhane Me PagaL Nach Rhe the.
Un Me Se Ek PagaL Khamosh Betha Tha
DR. Ne Pucha
Tum Q Khamosh Bethe Ho?
PagaL Ne Kaha
Bewaquf Me Dulha Hu!

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I saw Dream last Nyt
Only U &Me
U knw Wt happnd?

U were lookin so Inocent
Coz
I was eating MAGGIE
&U were saying

1Chamach khila de na..

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A Successful Marriage depends on one simple Equation:
>Wife having Beauty Secrets &
>Husband having Secret Beauties..

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Lady to police: Mere Pati 5 din pehle Aalu lane Baazar gye the par ab tak laute nahi.
POLICE: To fir tum koi dusri Vegetable kyu nahi banati

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Semi English Shayri…
>The Janaza of Mehboob nikla 4m d Gali of Mehbooba with Lots of
Zor-Shor.
Mehbooba jhaki 4m d Door &boli
“gya Haramkhor”

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Professor askd a Plumber to come to his Office

U know Why??

Because he wanted to check; From where d Question paper was leaking?

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1 Vakeel Sardar Road pe Potty krte Time Police ne pakad liya

Jab usey le jaane lage to Sardar bola:
“SABOOT TO UTHA LO nahi to Case haar jaoge”

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Tum pass aaye
Yun muskuraye

Tum ne jo apne 32 dant dikhaye
Dekh ke mera dil fut-fut ke rota h Yar tum se brush bhi dhang se nhi hota hai

In First Month,
Boss Gave His Hot Secretary a Skirt As Salary

Second Month??
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He
RAISED
d
Salary!

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Gita me Likha hai..
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Are yaha nai GITA me likha hai..

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Words Writn in NEW MS WINDOWS 2010 Hindi

SAVE=bachao

SAVE AS=aise bachao

SAVE ALL=sabko bachao

HELP=mujhe bachao

SAVE & EXIT=bachake BHAGO

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A Sardar went to temple on
Hanuman Jayanti

Pujari gave him Aarti
Guess what sardar did?

Socho?

Sardar blew
Diya &said
Happy B’day Hanumanji

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Lecturer: U idiots!
At ur age Einstein ranked First in class Wt
abt u?
Students:Sir at ur age Hitler
comited
suicide! Wt abt
u?…

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In Forest 10 People were Walkng
{Includng Me}

Suddnly TIGER came &Killed 9 Pepl bt didnt TOUCH Me!

Why?

TIGER-TIGER Frnds..

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Wenevr U feel d World is Empty n Full of Darkness.
Just call me..
I wil take U to
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An Eye specialist..!!!

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BOY:Mere Sapne Me 1Sundar Ladki Ayi

GIRL:Akeli Ayi Hogi?

B:Tumhe Kaise Pata?

G:Uska Husband Mere Sapne me aya tha!

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“Small Aim is
Biggest Crime”.
-ABDUL KALAM.

So, 4m dis, 1 BOY Said-

“Dont Aim on Local figures.
Aim only on Foreign Babes”

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Some One

Is Loving U

Caring for U

Watching over U

Protecting U

Guess Who?

A Girl! Na-Na

Neighbour’s Dog!:-)

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Mere MOBILE ka Accident ho gaya he
Bahut sms beh gaye he
Dr. ne kaha he Operatin k liye sms ki bahut jarurt h
Mere No.9272318577 par Plz donate

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Plz pass this SMS to all ur frnds.A person,blood group B+, urgently needs 2 bottles ..

of Kingfisher beer(chilled(wid
chips.It’s urgent

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If A Negro Writes A Letter 2U
What Wil It b Called
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BLACKMAIL..!!

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Teacher: Sach aur veham me kya fark hai?
Student: Aap jo hame padha rahi hain wo sach,
lekin hum padh rahe hain ye aapka veham hai

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Husband: Did U have any boy friend befor our marriage?
:
:
:
:
:
me is khamoshi ko kya samjhu?
Wife:darling mujhe gin to lene do

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Wenevr U feel d World is Empty n Full of Darkness.
Just call me..
I wil take U to
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An Eye specialist..!!!

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Teacher: Sach aur veham me kya fark hai?
Student: Aap jo hame padha rahi hain wo sach,
lekin hum padh rahe hain ye aapka veham hai

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Husband: Did U have any boy friend befor our marriage?
:
:
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me is khamoshi ko kya samjhu?
Wife:darling mujhe gin to lene do

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A Lady Kissing a Lion inside d Cage in Circus
RING-MASTR:Can any1 do it?
SARDAR:Me Kr Sakta Hu,
Pr Pehle Samne se Lion ko Hatao

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Enginrng ViVa
INTERVIEWR:
Hw does an Electric Motor run?
STUDNT:
dhurrrrrrr

INTRVIEWR shouts:
STOP it?

STUDNT:dhur.. dhup..dup..dup.. dhush..

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Height of Technical Overdose

A Computer Software Engineer falling 4m d Roof of a Buildng &Shouts
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F1 F1

F1 F1

Instead of
Help Help!

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Wn U Feel Lonely & U Thinks dt Nobody Luvs U,
Nobody Remembrs U
Thn Sit in Corner, Close Ur Eyes & Say these Magical Words

SAB KUTTE HAI SAALE

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Do U Knw d Meaning Of
A B C D E F G…
>A Boy Can Do Evrytng For Girl

Ab Ulta
G F E D C B A..
>Grl Forgts Evrytng Done & Catchs New Boy Again..

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SARDAR:I Lost My Dog
POLICE:Put An Advrtisemnt in Newspapr

SARDAR:Dnt b Silly

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*RITA:: Can U Define BOSS?
*RANI:: BOSS is a Person Who Thinks dat NINE Women can Produce a Child in ONE Month.
So Disgusting

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Santa-CYCLONE kise kehte he

Banta-CYCLE kharidne ke liye
jo LOAN lete he use CYCLONE kehte he

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Gals dont like 2 study much!
Y!
Socho..
Arey socho
Bcoz..
de know ki dunia k kisi na kisi kone mein koi na koi gadha unke liye pad hi raha hoga!

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>MAALIK: Ramu,Iss Saal Tum 4 Baar Apne Dada Ke Marne Ki Chhutttiya Le Chuke Ho.!
>RAMU: Maalik, Iss Baar Meri Dadi Ki Shaadi He

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DOCTOR To a KID:
Have u ever had trouble wit
“Appendicitis”.?

Kid:
Yes!

DOCTOR:
When..?

Kid:
“When I tried to spell it”

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Teacher to Santa: Where Is Ur house?

SANTA: In Maharshtra

TEACHR: Can U Spell it?

SANTA: I Think My House is in GOA

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Wife: Plz get 1 kg Sugar Urgntly 4m Shop,
I Need 2make Tea

HUSBAND: Whats d Need?
Ur LIPS r Sweet!

Wife:For U its OK,
Bt Wt if Ur Frns Come?

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Wat is faster dan a coin rolling dwn a steep slope?

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A marwadi running 2 catch it.

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Hum Unki Gali se Gujre ajib Itefaaq tha

Unhone Gulab ka FUL Feka

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Par Sala

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GAMLA b sath tha

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Banta wants 2Repair his Mobile
So He goes 2Doctor
SANTA:Y r U going 2Doctr
Go 2d Mob Repairer
Banta refuses&says”I want 2Repair My Blutooth”

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–
%
!
&
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Thank GOD,
All My Cell Buttons r Working.
Sorry 2 Disturb U.!!

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The Heart of Boys is lyk a Temple!
Holy,
Truthful,
Pure..
Thats Why,
Wen Boys Say,
‘I Love You’
>Girls Remove their Slippers..!

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Hai

Smart

bohat

wo

hai

bheja

Ne

Jis

Aur

hu

rha

padh

se

Niche

ko

Msg

Jo

hu

Stupid

wo

Mai

Confused?
Ab Niche se upar padho

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Jaanam

Humse Panga Mat Lena..?

kyu Ki,
Jin Toofano Me
Logo K chhappal Ud Jate Hai

Un Toofano me Humari

UNDERWEAR Sukh-te hai

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Yaha khuda hai

Waha khuda hai

Jaha b dekho wahi khuda hai

Aur…

Jaha khuda nahi hai..
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Waha kal khudega.
Kaam chalu hai

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Studnt @Medical shop:I Need Poison

CHEMIST:I can’t sel U Poison

Studnt shws BTECH syllbus
book
CHEMIST:O Sory
I didnt knw U
had PRESCRIPTION

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Worlds 3 Shortest JOKES-

1}Two Womens r siting QUIET

2} 2 Sardars r Playing CHESS

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3}Girl-Friend Pays BILL

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Time 4 a Deadly PJ

Wt do U Call a Person Who Shakes d Moon??

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Think

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GUESS..

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CHANDRASHEKAR

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Rawan K Sar: 10
Akhe:20
Nazar:Sirf 1 Ladki Par

Aap Ka Sar: 1 Aankhe: 2
Nazar: Har Ladki Par!

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Dog was doing SuSu {TOILET}
on d Wall
Suddnly Wall Fell on Dog&
He DiEd On d Spot.
Then All Dogs Dcided 2giv 1Leg SuPort 2Wal
While Doing SuSu!

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Siddhu ki Maa ko Gussa kab aata hai?

Jab Siddhu Laughter Challenge me Hans-Hans k har Ek Contestant se Kehta hai-

“Bas kar Mere BAAP”

---

Some Funny Fact’s:
*Wt Wish wud Stars make Wn they saw falling Peple
*Do they hav a Coffee break at d Tea Factory ?

---

Sign on d door of a Toilet in these Time of Recession.,

Conserve Toilet Paper,
Use both d Sides..

---

INTERVIEWR: Tel Me Opposite of Good
SARDR: Bad
Intw: Oh Come On
SRDR:Go Back
Intw: Shut-Up
SRDR: Open down
Intw: U r Rejectd!
SRDR: I m Selectd!

---

Nyt Was Dark

Moon Was High

Boy Stopd Bike

Girl Askd Y?

He Came Close

She Felt Shy
&He Said

Dhakka Maar Heroine,
Petrol Khatm Ho Gya

---

Hey I Saw U in
TV..!

.

How Smart U R..!

.

How Sweet U R..!

.

But,..

.

.

.

.

why U R coming only in vodafone add.?:-)

---

A University’s Advt.
R u a studnt scoring high marks?
Bored of gettin gud marks?
Join Engg
C d diffrnce in jst 4yrs.
“Marks se nomarks tak”

---

Hamesha Logo ko Achhe Msgs bhejo

Bcoz

“Jab apki Saanse rukengi”

TAB Logo ki Zuban se niklega

Tha to Kamina Lekin SMS achhe bhejta tha…

---

A w0man has d last w0rd in any Argument.
Anything a Man says after that is the begining 0f a New Argument!

---

SANTA: Kya Tum Mere Naye Doggy k Sath Kheloge?

BANTA:
Bahut Khatarnak dikhta he? Kya Wo Kat-ta he?

SANTA:
Wahi to Mai dekhna Chahta hu..

---

Can a GIRL make you a MILLIONAIRE??

.

.
…..Yes !!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Conditions Apply: You must be a BILLIONAIRE…

---

Sardar was suffering from loose motion
Doctor asked him: wat is ur problem?
He said:Free outgoing with variety of RING tones.

---

Rawan K Sar: 10
Akhe:20
Nazar:Sirf 1 Ladki Par

Aap Ka Sar: 1 Aankhe: 2
Nazar: Har Ladki Par!

>Ab Batao Asali Ravan Kaun?

---

SANTA: Yaar,
“Meri Door Ki Nazar
Kharab He Chashma Lena Pdega
BANTA: Wo Kya Chamak Raha Hai?
SANTA- Suraj
Banta- Bhosdike, Aur Kitne Dur Dekhega

---

Signboard Signifying Recession in Front Of A Restaurant-

”Come in,
Or Both Of Us Will
Starve.!!”

---

-Y r U Late?
-Bike Puncture!
-Y dont U come in BUS?
-I’m Not So Rich to buy a BUS, Sir!

---

“FeaR is the main Reason foR eveRy failuRes”

.

.

.

.

So

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Dont see miRRoR!

---

HEIGHT OF RECESSION

.

You Swipe The Card
&
BaNk A.T.M MachiNe Shows This Message
.

.
.

.
.
.
.
.

“AGEY CHALO BABA”

---

Why Boys goes to Temple?
>To get
Pooja,
Arathi,
Archana..
&Why Girls goes to Temples?
>To get
Prasad,
Darshan,
Abishek..

---

Heart f boys r lik a temple!
Holy,
truthful,
pure
Thats y,when boys say,
‘I LUV U’,
gals remove their SLIPPERS..!

---

Wat Do U Call WeN PakistaNi Throws A Bomb oN iNdia
-TERRORISM
N
WeN PakistaNi Throws It oN PakistaN,.?
-GANG WAR.

---

Hi!
Wt happnd!
No SMS
No Calls

Why?

No Rechrge?

OK

I m Snding d Rechrge Card No:

lllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Scrtch here wid blade

---

Wen 2 Couples come Face to Face, WIVES look at each Other’s Saris & HUSBANDS look at each Other’s Wife.

---

Kya
kr
rhe
ho?

Busy
ho?

Kitne
busy
ho?

Thoda
ho?
Ya bahut
ho?

Agar
thoda,
to
sms Kyu
nhi
krte ho?
aur
agar
Zyada
ho to

SmS kyu
padh
rhe ho?

---

A Gal Askd His B0y Frnd 2 Spek 3 Wrds Whch ll Mak Him Fly In Air & His Feet wont Be 0n Earth

He Answrd:-
Go Hang Urself.

Fish khane k baad Sardar Pani nhi pita..

.

Socho Kyu.?

.

Bcoz

.

“Sardar ko darr tha ki Machhliya Pet me tairne Na lag jaye”!

---

-UNDRSTND DIS JOKE THEN LAUGH-

What do U Call An Intelligent Man in Punjab?

.

Socho..

.

Tourist!

---

A fat Srdr visits Dietition
Doc-Run 8km daily fr 300 days
Aftr 300 days,Srdr phoned
Im slim bt im 2400km away 4m home!

---

A Diplomat is a Person Who Says U hav An Open Mind Instead of Telling U dat U had a Hole in Ur Head..

---

Studies Has Proved dt Majority Of Studnts Suffer 4m Intense Pain Of Lower Jaw
This Z Due 2

Un Controlld,
Excessive Yawing During Lecturs

---

Why does Sardars always SMILE during Lightning Storms?

They think their Photo is being taken & lightening is a Flash!!

---

U & ME went 2a
“WISH-WELL”

I bent down 2 throw a Coin &made a Wish
U bent down a little more &fallen in2 d Well

I shoutd

It WORKS!

---

-THIS IS TOOOOO MUCH –

–

Why did Sardar put his radio in his refrigerator?

.

.

.

.

“He wanted to hear some cool Music”!

---

SARDAR-Yaar iska matlab kya hota hai, ‘I AM GOING?
FRIEND-Main jaa raha hu.
SARDAR-Saale,aise kaise jayega,answer bata ke jaa..

---

Tom to Hotel Manager- Come Fast, My Wife gona Jump Out of wiNdow & commit SUICIDE
MANAGER- What Can I Do?
T-IDIOT,
Window is not OpeNiNg…

---

Why American Names r Like
JACKSON
WILSON
MARKSON
ROBINSON
ANDERSON
DAVIDSON
JOHNSON?

So dat MOM Can rmembr WHO is WHOSE SON!

---

-THAT’S SARDARS SPECIAL INTELLIGENCE-

Think, Why did 18 Sardars go to a Movie?

.

.

.

.

.

.

Because below 18 was Not Allowed!

---

Thief1:
Lets Count
d Money We hav
Looted Today!

Thief2:
I m So Tired,
We’ll See it in d
Newspaper Tomorrow.

---

BaNta: Teri Biwi Ko Car Chahiye Thi, TuNe Use DiamoNd RiNg KyuN Di.?

SaNta: MaiN Nakli Car Kaha Se Lata?

---

-PJ-
BRUCE LEE was a great Man!
Bt after his Sister gav birth 2 a Child, he bcame an Ordinary Person!

Y?

.

.

Bcz he bcame
“MAMU-LEE”

---

When do girls get Full Marks,
Boys fail in Practicals?

ANSWER: Wen they both Keep d First Buttons of their
SHIRT Open in front of d External!

---

Banta-Mai gali se jab guzarta hu to KUTTE mujhse dar k
bhag jate he

Santa-Apne BOSS se to har koi darta he

---

In a Maths Exam, Sardar was Dancing instead of Writing,

Y?

Think?

Bcoz Sum1 told him dat there is Marks for evry STEP..

---

>Chicken ready?
…Yes Boss

>Fish Ready
…Yes Boss

>Omlet Ready
…Yes Boss

>Mutton Ready?

?

No Boss. Bakra abhi msg padh rha he

---

Mere BHEJE me 1 Shor ho rha h

Bina SMS k Ye DiL bor ho rha h

Kahi aisa to Nahi,
Ek Pyara Sa Dost

.

.

.

Kutte Ki Neend so raha hai

---

SARDAR goes 2 Shop &asks 4a Calender

Shopkeepr-
Which One do U want SIR?

SARDAR-
“A Calendr with Maximum Holidays”

---

Doctor To a Kid-Hav U ever had trouble with “Appendicitis”
–
Kid-Yes!
–
Doctor-When?
–
Kid-When I tried to Spell it!

---

>SUPER SANTA<
QUES- How can U kill a Lion?

.

.

.

.

.

SANTA-i wil drink Poison &Allow Lion to eat me!

---

Nind Aati Hai To Khwab ate hai..
Khwab Me Ek Ladki Ati He
Ladki K Piche Uska Baap Ata He
Fir Na to Nind Ati Hai
Na Khwab Ata He!

---

Galib Ne Bhari MehfiL Me Sher Mara..

Galib ne Bhari MehfiL Me Sher Mara..

Fir Kya Hua??

Are PagaL,
Sherni Vidhwa ho Gai..

Aur kya?

---

Santa got an SMS frm his Pregnant Wife:
“A HAPPY NEWS 4U. U BECAME A DAD”
–
Happy Santa
Forwarded Same SMS to Everyone..

---

What’s an adult joke?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

SaRDaR:
“Any joke which is eighteen years old”..!

---

A Couple @Train
Girl:My head is paining
boy kisd hr head
Girl:My neck paining
boy kisd neck
1 oldman:bhai,losemotion ka bhi ilaz karte ho?

---

A Couple @Train
Girl:My head is paining
boy kisd hr head
Girl:My neck paining
boy kisd neck
1 oldman:bhai,losemotion ka bhi ilaz karte ho?

---

Lyf s vry short so… Brk silly ruls, 4gv quickly,Lov truly, Laugh loudly nd Nvr avoid nyting dat makes U smyl..

---

Best traffic advertisemnt of d year :
Piture of Lord GANESHA wit a sayin
” Care 4 ur head not evry1 gts a replacemnt lik me

---

ImagiNe, If der Is LoNg Days f Gap B/w eNgagemeNt N Marriage Who Is Most BeNificiary?
Boy?
No

Girl?
No

It Is Mobile
CompaNies

---

Pledge of YUNGISTAN
IND is my natin
LOVE s our DESTINTIN
DATING is our OCUPATION
SETING s our PROFESION
wt d hel is EDUCATION…

---

DID U KNOW:
NOBEL PRIZE is not given for MATHS y?
BECAUSE,
ALFRED NOBELs wife ran away wit a MATHS PROFESSOR O
Funny but Fact
LAKSHMI1

---

Professor:If Earth Starts RotatiNg 30 Times Faster ThaN Now, Wat’ll HappeN?
Sardar:Oye Balle Balle. We’ll Get Salary

DAILY.,!

---

A Couple @Train
Girl:My head is paining
boy kisd hr head
Girl:My neck paining
boy kisd neck
1 oldman:bhai,losemotion ka bhi ilaz karte ho?

---

ImagiNe, If der Is LoNg Days f Gap B/w eNgagemeNt N Marriage Who Is Most BeNificiary?
Boy?
No

Girl?
No

It Is Mobile
CompaNies

---

My nyts going sleepless
My days going useless
So i askd GOD Is dis LOVE?
GOD replied”BETA,Syllabus bahut jyada hai,tujhe kuch nahi aata hai

---

Height of Laziness!
Thief1:Lets count d money we hv looted 2day
Thief2:I’m so tired, We wil C it in d Newspaper 2mrow:-(

---

Mujse Shadi Karoge?

Pura DiN Soch K BataNa!

ApNe Mummy,
Papa Se Puchh LeNa

Ki

Ye GaNa Kis Film Ka He?

---

Wat is 2 2?
CA: 4
Doctor: Approx4
Judge:It shuld b4
Politcn: We wil mak it4
Lawyr: We shw it4
Enggnr: Tell me, how much U want it to be!

---

Sardar: May I Come iN Sir.?

iNterviewer: Wait Please.,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Sardar: 75 Kg Sir.,!!

---

Santa ki Girlfriend Santa se:- Apni sagai Par tum Mujhe 1 “Ring” Doge Na?

Santa:- Jarur Dunga
Ye Batao LadLine ya Mob Par ..

---

I don’t wnt 2 say I mis u,
thogh dep insid I do,
coz I’m afrid u might c thru
&
kno hw much fear I hv f losing sm1 lik u

---

Heights Of ProfessioNal Respect.,

A Begger WoN 50 Lac Rs Lottery N He Took

Gold UteNsil For BeggiNg.!!

---

Gandhi hated Liquor his whole Lyf
bt Liquor king Vijaya Mallya bought Gandhi memoris bak2 India.

Wat a contrbution 4m pple who drink alcohl

---

DID U KNOW:
NOBEL PRIZE is not given for MATHS y?
BECAUSE,
ALFRED NOBELs wife ran away wit a MATHS PROFESSOR O
Funny but Fact

---

Falure is a
Single Pag in
a Part of Life!
Bt,
Success is a
Book of
Dictionary.!
Don’t Loose a
Full Book 4 a
Single Page!!

---

How To Impress Ur Kaamwali Bai?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tum Isme Bhi iNterested Ho?
Kuch To ApNa StaNdard
Rakho Yaar!!

---

Santa comes to
School wit
1black &1white Shoe.
Sir: GO
home& Change.
Santa: Sir,
ghar me b 1black & 1white hi hai.

---

Exams r like Girlfriend.
1.Too many Questions.
2.Difficult to Understand.
3.More Explanation is neded.
4.Result is always fail

---

Try2 undrstnd me & dont distrb me more.
Last ni8 i didnt sleep bcoz of u. So dont play wid my lyf

snta told2 Mosquito

---

DIN KO CHAIN NAHI
RAT KO Neend NAHI
JIYA NA LAGE KAHI
KHUDA KYA YAHI PYAR H?
KHUDA BOLE NAHI BETA YE TO GARMI KI SHURWAT HAI

---

Kabir ji ka modified doha applicable on students:-“kaahe jawat tution ko,kaahe karat padai. Number utne he aan hai,jitne ki chit banai”

---

Jewellery shop mein Santa ki zabardast pitaayi ho gai.Y ? Sanata ne sales-girl se kaha: Apki ek ek item gazab ki hai. Sone ka kya rate legi

---

Sardar has got a job of traffic police But He was dismissed on d 1st day Y?

Coz he fined an ambulance 4 overspeed

---

My New Hobby:
I M Collecting GandhiJI Photos

I need Ur Contribution 2 my Collection.

Ghar me Jitne Bhi 500,1000 ke Notes ho Bhej Dena

---

Santa ko 20 Saal Baad Bachha hua, Wo Udaas ho gaya.

Kyo?

Ans-Saala 20 Saal baad bachha hua, Wo b itna sa

---

Wen i Opens Eyes Evryday, i Prays 2 GOD dt Evry1 shud hav a Frnd lyk U..

Why shud Only i Suffer?

---

Wat is d HEAVIEST Burden of LIFE?

An Empty POCKET !!! 😕

---

If U r Stressd, U wil get Pimples..
If U Cry, U wil get Wrinkles..
So,Y don’t U Smile &get Dimples?? Keep Smilng, its vry SimPlE!

---

I m Coke
U r Sprite

I m Saawan
U r Baadal

I m Normal
U r

also NORMAL
kya yar khudpe hi shaq karte ho

---

Dear frnd
dont keep me in ur heart

but

keep me in ur brain

Bcoz

rehne ki jagah jitni khali khali ho rehne me utna hi mazaa aata hai..